Tron, 1982 (dir. Steve Lisberger)

SYNOPSIS: Jeff Bridges plays Tron? Nope. Let me stop you right there. Bridges plays Kevin. Kevin used to date Lora and now he’s mad at Encom CEO Ed for stealing his ideas. Meanwhile, Alan is Lora’s new boyfriend and also wrote a computer program called Tron (!) which can help Kevin get his ideas back. But before Kevin can use Alan’s program (Tron!), Ed traps Kevin in the Matrix (look it up) where he eventually frees the internet (Tron). Finally, Ed’s shenanigans are revealed and Kevin succeeds him as CEO of Encom in a move approved by shareholders.

Tagline: “Where love and escape do not compute.”

FILM: 6/10

BRIDGES: 8/10

BOTTOM LINE: (The Matrix + Disclosure) / The 80′s = Tron

The first time I saw Tron was at a birthday party. It was followed by cake and three hours of laser tag. Someone threw up cake in the “Photon Arena”. The last time I saw Tron was with Adam at the New Beverly. It was on a double bill with The Last Starfighter. I made this drawing with two new shading markers which don’t really match each other in hue but that seems to work in the drawing’s favor. I got the nose wrong so you can’t tell if he’s scared or sneering or surprised. I put the close-up of MCP on the side because it used to freak me out and I’m working through that in my art. I added all the diagonal lines so now it looks 3-D.

Holy Shit - that's a bottle opener!

Right now, he’s just super-excited his hotel room has a bottle opener in the bathroom.

And who wouldn’t be?

If you lose your disc or fail to follow commands, you will be subject to immediate de-resolution.

That will be all.

Click here to view the embedded video.

My only question – what does the new “Bit” look like? Better be as cool.

Aw screw it, who am I kidding? I’m going midnight in December to Navy Pier to see this movie – who’s in?

If you lose your disc or fail to follow commands, you will be subject to immediate de-resolution.

That will be all.

Tyra Banks is on the job.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this shitstorm of a a television show, Tyra’s specialty (correction: one of her many specialties) is inventing simple words to describe a more complex concept.  Usually, this involves taking 2 key words from said concept and mashing them together, then repeating 50-75 times over the course of her hour-long show.

My new favorite? Mantrum.

To quote the wordsmith herself:

“When a man gets all upset, like a child, it’s not a tantrum.  It’s a Mantrum!” (emphasis mine).

The show then went on to show various video montages of boyfriends getting very angry at their girlfriends.  This part wasn’t so funny.  In fact, it’s not funny at all– it’s men with either profound insecurities or serious anger issues who are having a difficult and potentially dangerous time expressing themselves.  But don’t worry ladies!  When your man starts to get all smashy, it’s just a Mantrum! According to the show, the best way to deal with it is to talk to him like he’s a small child.  I’d like to hear from ONE man who doesn’t feel better when his girlfriend emasculates him in public, especially on national television.  Now, clean up the mess you made in the front yard like a big boy, and I’ll make you a peanut butter sandwich.

In honor of the new Tron film, here’s one of the original suits

[Thanks James!
/s]

…but then I watched the trailer. I am sold. Beyond sold. I can not wait. Can I already call this the best movie of the summer whenever it’s released? Because I am.

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Guess which one of these is a medicine my Mom’s dog has to take for it’s Glaucoma, and which of these is a Character from an 80′s Sci-Fi/Fantasy Movie:

1) Methazolamide 

2)  Jared Syn

3) Ofloxacin

4) Casiodorus Rex

5) Flurbiprofen

6) Ynyr 

7) Trusopt

8 ) Salix

9) Perseus

10) Tropicamide

11) Voltan

12) NeoPolyDex

13) Dr. Hans Reinhardt

14) Orbax

15) Aughra: Keeper of Secrets

 

answers after the jump:

1) Methazolamide

2)  Jared Syn (Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn)

3) Ofloxacin

4) Casiodorus Rex (Dragonslayer)

5) Flurbiprofen

6) Ynyr (Krull)

7) Trusopt

8 ) Salix

9) Perseus (Clash of the Titans)

10) Tropicamide

11) Voltan (Hawk The Slayer)

12) NeoPolyDex

13) Dr. Hans Reinhardt (Black Hole)

14) Orbax

15) Aughra: Keeper of Secrets (Dark Crystal)