…if you are surprised L. Ron Hubbard has a booth at the San Diego ComicCon.

Now, put your hand, and your head, down in shame. OF COURSE he has a booth.

How else do you get new recruits than by showing them some magical story of a man who died, and then magically rose from the dea-. Oh. Wrong religion.

Besides, I’m kinda interested in that “Argosy” story – looks exciting!

Raht
Terb
Soltan Gris
Countess Krak
Bolz, Captain of the Blixo
Lombar Hisst
Twolah
Gyrant  Slahb
Tars Roke
Utanc

These aren’t.

Sploob
Dr. Vulva
Gnarkill
Fundlebalz, Minister of Spoork
Grunty Blithwap
Sloppy
Beejay
Hieronymous Poojole
Thibby
Commander Shart
Alizade Winnebagostein
Billy Shove
Rick Finger

Greetings employee off The Church of Scientology or some related fake museum or 501c3 in Los Angeles County, no doubt you’ve been tasked with sitting in a basement and scouring Google to find any actionable slanders while all the higher ups get to stand on Hollywood Boulevard and convince unsuspecting people that there’s something to be learned about Psychiatry in that museum. I just wanted to say, welcome, and we want to be the best part of your day. Simply because I tagged this silly post with “L. Ron Hubbard” and “Scientology” Google Alerts has now given you permission to spend the next hour on our funny funny site. Cruise around, check out some of our categories, get caught up on Justin’s kid, it’s all completely excuseable now. Enjoy. And personally, I believe you, I just think Travolta makes a bad poster child. It seems like you could convince that guy that soup is God, but that’s just me.

Guess which one of these is a medicine my Mom’s dog has to take for it’s Glaucoma, and which of these is a Character from an 80′s Sci-Fi/Fantasy Movie:

1) Methazolamide 

2)  Jared Syn

3) Ofloxacin

4) Casiodorus Rex

5) Flurbiprofen

6) Ynyr 

7) Trusopt

8 ) Salix

9) Perseus

10) Tropicamide

11) Voltan

12) NeoPolyDex

13) Dr. Hans Reinhardt

14) Orbax

15) Aughra: Keeper of Secrets

 

answers after the jump:

1) Methazolamide

2)  Jared Syn (Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared Syn)

3) Ofloxacin

4) Casiodorus Rex (Dragonslayer)

5) Flurbiprofen

6) Ynyr (Krull)

7) Trusopt

8 ) Salix

9) Perseus (Clash of the Titans)

10) Tropicamide

11) Voltan (Hawk The Slayer)

12) NeoPolyDex

13) Dr. Hans Reinhardt (Black Hole)

14) Orbax

15) Aughra: Keeper of Secrets (Dark Crystal)

Though I have yet to see his appearance on today’s episode of Oprah (wherein he’ll be paraded in front of her adoring pre-screened-Tom-Cruise-let’s-not-talk-about-Scientology-audience), Tom Cruise is well on his way to clearing his name and washing his hands of this 3-year history weirdness — at least as far as Oprah’s concerned. Full disclosure, no doubt, Oprah’s smart to host Tom Cruise’s big old honest American comeback on her show, sure to be one of the highest rated ever. Last Friday’s was one of the few episodes of Oprah I’ve ever seen all the way through, and Tom Cruise, in a one-on-one from from his Colorado home, appeared calm, collected, and fully medicated. Aside from the obviousness that this highly-chroegraphed event featured a “pop-in” from Katie Holmes — OH, KATIE! I didn’t think I’d see you! // Nahh, just off to take the kids into town, because that’s how regular Tom and I are here in Telluride, just regular folks taking the Subaru to town — I was wishing I had one of those focus group dials with readings indicating “I Believe Tom right now!” or “Tom’s lying right now!” Fascinating television. Its affect on me? I’d still go see Top Gun II and Mission Impossible IV. But not that German movie.