Can someone please find the beeyotch from table 11 last night and slowly explain to her that the reason her Paradise Passion Fruit (flavored) Tropical Iced Tea that she makes at home “all the time,” didn’t taste the same as the Paradise Original (unflavored) Tropical Iced Tea that I served her in the restaurant last night is because they aren’t supposed to taste the same. Of course they don’t taste the same. It doesn’t mean I’m lying. It doesn’t mean I’m an incompetent, product-dumb server. It doesn’t mean the restaurant is trying to pull a fast one. One’s passion fruit flavored and one’s black tea — unflavored. And, YOU’RE A STUPID BEEYOTCH! Thank you.

When was the last time you were at Fuddrucker’s? I have to say, it’s nigh on 10 years for me. I don’t remember it being extremely good, I just remember it was like the ultimate haven for creating the burger I wanted. And I dig that. Oddly enough, the topic of burger places in Chicago has come up – with LOTS of good names of restaurants coming up. So. Let’s start an informal little Metromix-ish poll here. Who’s got the best burger? My vote? I’m not shy – I’m going right off the bat with Kuma’s Corner up on Belmont.

Seriously. If you can order a burger that has “anger” listed as an ingredient – I’m in.

So – schad.net readers – who has it? Who has the Best Burger? Oh – and Witt, In-n-Out sucks. It’s a pop culture reference point, not a burger worth eating.

If there’s any missing from the list, add it in the comments, and I’ll update the voting options…
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On a terrible Sunday afternoon, after a morning of working – it’s important to pick the “right place” to refuel. Since we are working in the River North area, the choices of places to eat are great! There’s Planet Hollywood Gino’s East, Hooters, Some Sushi/Deli, Ed Debevic’s… Too many too mention. Today, we decided, Ed Debevic’s. Why? Well, half of us had never been there, and the other half couldn’t remember what the experience was like. I think we can sum this up in 2 seconds:

Don’t Go.

It’s not that we mind that the wait staff is fake rude to us – heck, it’s fun enough to “play along” with them. The problem is that the food is “real” shitty. It’s $10 for anything. Want a side of fries? $10. Want a burger that was just thawed 30seconds ago? $10. Want some chicken tenders from McDonald’s across the street? $10.

To add insult to injury – for about 5 minutes every hour our waitstaff decides to stand on tables and counters and dance. And the last thing we need is our overweight 50s house mom yelling at me to clap harder while she does the chicken dance.

And the food? Don’t ask.

Overall – two overwhelmingly huge thumbs down. Is it possible to delete restaurants from Google Maps? And Yelp? Does anyone use Yelp? Oh – and if we hear that anyone, ANYONE, suggest to a visiting relative/friend:

You should totally go to Ed Debevic’s

We will hunt you down like the rabid rat you are.

I sure am sick of it. They do realize that Jenny got AIDS, don’t they?