It’s the Final Season, and, there are currently 3,256 different loose ends that need to be tied up. Or else people are gonna be pissed. Like ALIAS pissed (anyone watch that? seriously? that’s how he chose to end it?). I mean, this is gonna rival Seinfeld proportions. Facebook is even asking me if I’m gonna watch the Season Premiere. That means it’s big.

So – here are the important things that need to happen either tonight, or within the first 8 episodes of the Season. And I mean NEED to happen.

1. Juliet and Kate will have a lingering kiss before Juliet dies to go do V
2. Kate and Sun will have a longer kiss before Jack looks all pouty
3. Kate and the Smoke Monster will try to kiss, but then a polar bear will “interrupt the moment”
4. Penny and Kate will have an “across the time” kiss, before Penny disappears in the time vortex to go do Flash Forward
5. Flocke and Locke will get together to conspire how they can get in on the NEXT JJ Abrams show
6. The numbers will never be mentioned again because the writers/creators are unsure exactly WHAT to do with that whole McGuffin.
7. Kate will find out the Claire’s baby is really Jacob, and Jacob’s Enemy is Jacob from a different timeline
8. Jack realizes that there is no such thing as free will, and there is no such thing as a career after LOST
9. Boone shows up in 3 flashbacks because we miss him
10. Desmond appears to die twice, only to come back each time with the realization that he IS Jacob
11. Kate from 1977 meets Kate from 2001 – and they kiss (sweeps week)
12. Sawyer goes shirtless for 34 out of every 42 minutes each episode for the rest of the season
13. Hurley makes 5 “geek” references (ie. Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings)
14. The psychic guy – can’t remember his name – does whatever anybody on that show tells him to do because he’s grateful he has a career
15. Fisher Stevens is happy to be relevant again
16. Kate looks pouty towards the end of the season because there are no more women to kiss, and she’s tired of the “men in her life” – leading her to time travel back to when Ana Lucia and Libby were alive. *ahem*

Anyone else?

The ’08 election argued that the GOP is essentially a regional party, with little or no productive role to play in the governing of America. I have referred to them in the past as “a confederacy of white nationalists and robber barons,” and now it seems a recent poll is supporting my claim.

This is a graph created by Steve Bennen that I saw over at Ezra Klein’s blog. It breaks down GOP support by region, and the numbers do not look good for the Repubs.

MonkeyCage has the line of the day with this gem,

“Quite seriously, if I saw this type of regional distribution of support for a political party in a country like Slovakia, I would assume the party represented an ethnic minority.”

It’s funny, because the GOP hates ethnic minorities! Oh, man, that is too good.

Tomorrow’s the big day!  And so, we thought we check in one last time with Schadenfreude’s (now 4 year old) political pundit,  Emmett James.  Emmett, seen here with his Obama puppet that he made at the Library, has had some strong and accurate predictions in the past.  We caught up with Emmett in his post Halloween candy haze and asked him a few hard hitting questions.

Schad: Who will win tomorrow’s election?

EJ: Oh, I don’t really know because there is two people and if there is two people then, ahhh, I don’t know who is going to win.  John McCain might win. 

Schad: Did you vote yet?

EJ: No, I’m too little.

Schad: If you could vote, who would you vote for?

EJ: The same guy, John McCain.

Schad: Why?

EJ:  Just because I like him.

Schad: What do you think Obama & McCain dressed up as for Halloween?

EJ: (Re: McCain) I think a good costume would be a monster.  An ugly scary monster.  (Re: Obama) They would be friends, so I think he would dress up as a monster.  The same kind of monster.

Schad:  Would you date Piper Palin

EJ: (Nods yes)

Schad: Will you watch the election returns tomorrow night?

EJ: (Nods yes) IF.. if I didn’t have to go to bed.

Schad: What do you think the loser will do with all of their free time?

EJ: Well.. on the next election they could win!

Schad:  What advice would you like to give the new President?

EJ: Good ideas!  Let me think of some…  Doing their job for them:  Everyone would help everyone who would help every President while they were gone for a while.

Schad:  Cupcakes or Popsicles?

EJ:  To do what?