Come on down to the Haymarket Pub and Brewery at 737 W. Randolph – Alderman Ed Bus, and his wife Dorse Carson Pirie Scott Bus, will be there to talk about his recent race for Mayor, what the 53rd Ward is like after the race, and how it feels to have a beer named after him: the Alderman Ed Bus Golden Lager.

Others will be there too as part of LOCAL 737 – a new monthly show at the Drinking & Writing Theater showing the first Wednesday of every month at 7:37p.m.

Local 737 features a variety of artists and other folks from events currently happening in Chicago. Local 737 is a reference to the mug club at Haymarket Pub & Brewery, Local 737: Beer Drinkers Union and also to the address at 737 W. Randolph and the time of the show…7:37 pm….get it? Local 737 will focus on a differnet theme every month.

Come on out, drink beer, and cheer on our Alderman!

No big deal. We are really getting on the Bus for this election! We found a guy who was willing to help the campaign to elect Alderman Ed Bus to Mayor of the City of Chicago by making BUTTONS for the effort!

Do you want one?

Of course you do.

The only way you’re gonna get one is if you show up Friday or Saturday night to the Gallery Cabaret for the Alderman Ed Bus Victory Party.

Seriously. The ONLY way.

Hey folks, Fred the Tuckpointer here trying to keep on believing in beautiful Cleveland, Ohio.  Gotta be honest, I’m feeling really let down by the House GOP.  I’m glad they repealed Obamacare right away, but the reality is unless the Senate pulls it too (yeah, right) we’re stuck till the next election cycle.  What’s worse, I don’t get why Boehner doesn’t start the impeachment hearings against the “President”.  See, I use “quotes” ’cause Obama shouldn’t even be able to hold office.  That should be enough but even Cantor said Obama’s legit.  So we’re stuck.  There’s probably some behind the scene’s stuff going on.  Remember that Obama’s the “President”, but that also means he’s The President, and he can have the Secret Service come pay you a visit.   Ask Peyton Manning.

That’s right, sports fans.  Last weekend was the  Superbowl, and this year the big game was between Green Bay and…Pittsburgh.  Hated, hated, Pittsburgh.  If there’s one thing I hate more than Obama, its the Pittsburgh Steelers.  And wouldn’t you know it, Obama LOVES the Steelers.  So much that he’s always rooting for them.  Rooting for scum bags like Harrison and the cad Roethlisberger who can’t keep his hands off the ladies.  No morals whatever, not that it matters to Steelers fans, as long as they win.  Unlike Cleveland fans, who are world class.

So of course I had to root for the Packers, but would it really matter?  You better bet ol’ Obama was going to interfere again.  He likes to interfere with big American institutions like the Free Market, the Superbowl, the Olympics…he just can’t help himself.   I’m not exactly a Green Bay fan, but I have to root against the Steelers no matter what.  Unless they’re playing the Baltimore Ravens.  Then I can only hope they destroy each other.  Burn in Hell Art Modell!

Sorry.

But as always, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for this Conservative.  I was looking over the roster of the Packers, and found the blood of the Browns flowing through their best player!  I’m talking about Clay Matthews Jr – son of the greatest Browns D-back of all time, Clay Matthews Sr.  Check it out – he looks like Conan the Barbarian:

Even though the Browns have sucked for the past 13 years, they would have  a chance to beat the Steelers in the Super Bowl through the sire of Clay Sr.  And you know what?  The Matthews are CONSERVATIVES.  I know that because I bought a truck a few years back from the old man.  All small business owners are conservative, and that’s something you pass down to your kids.  At least, I think that’s how it works.   Sure enough, in the big game Clay Jr. forced an interception, and that was all the Pack needed to beat the Stillers.  As the clock was clicking down, I half expected that Obama would give the order to start picking off the Packers, or just implode the entire stadium so that it would at least be a No Contest.  And I’m sure he was behind some of their guys getting hurt earlier.  But the Browns/Packers wouldn’t be denied.   Even Obama can’t get away with that. So, World Champs Baby!  Sort of.  Time to start rubbing it in on the pathetic Pittspuke fans. As for Herr Dictator, better luck next year.  And stop saying the Bears are your home team.  These guys are.

I gotta run…Sadie says there’s a big sale on Power Bars at Giant Eagle.  They’ve kind of become a staple in the Tuckpointer household.  If I don’t get there soon, they’ll be picked over and I’m sick of the blueberry ones.  Till next time, Fred the Tuckpointer signing off.

Guy (D)
Hey. Would you like to go back to my place and have sex?

Girl (R)
No.

Guy (D)
Would you like to go back to you’re place and have sex?

Girl (R)
No.

Guy (D)
I’ll buy you dinner first.

Girl (R)
Still no.

Guy (D)
We’ll go for Italian. Trattoria Demi – you’re favorite place! Chicken Parmesan.

Girl (R)
No.

Guy (D)
No Chicken Parmesan?

Girl (R)
No… And no sex.

Guy (D)
You can order whatever you want. Then dessert. With Coffee. Then I’ll drive you back to my house—

Girl (R)
Nope.

Guy (D)
Oh right — Your house. Then…

Girl (R)
Uh-uh.

Guy (D)
I’ll have a breathe mint after coffee?

Girl (R)
Doesn’t matter.

Guy (D)
Ok, listen. No sex. I just want to come over and talk.

Girl (R)
Nope. No way.

Guy (D)
Wait – hear me out first. I’ll drive you to your house. I will lay down with you and talk. We’ll cuddle – no sex – just cuddling. Lots of talking. And being concerned. I’ll be very concerned and listen to your every word while we cuddle and not have sex. I’ll ask supportive questions but not try to fix everything. Then when you drift off to sleep, I’ll get up and clean your bathroom and kitchen. I’ll do the dishes, scrub the toilet and vacuum the living roo — no, wait! You’ll be sleeping, so I’ll sweep it with a broom! It’s quieter that way. Then I’ll go sleep on the couch so there’s no chance that I’ll come in and spoon you and lazily let my hand land on your boob “in my sleep” or “by accident.” How does this all sound?

Girl (R)
Not gonna happen.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Again with more CosPlayers! Simply the best part of Comic-Con.

My favorite? It’s a toss-up:

• The gal dressed as Sarah Palin. Not sure what she was going for, but I love the ‘meta’ aspect of that one.
• The Chef Vader with Jar-Jar’s head. It’s just really good to see Jar-Jar dead.
• The Flash on a cell phone. He looks befuddled, and pudgy – my favorite kind of Flash.

[Show as slideshow]

[View with PicLens]

Not really, but you have to think that this is the first step — right?

Surprise, surprise, this week out of Washington there’s been yet another sex scandal. Not only does this one include tickling and groping of male aides by a “closeted” gay Congressman. It also includes snorkeling.

Snorkeling -  This maneuver is performed by placing your testicles over the eyes of your partner, forming a mask. Then the breathing apparatus is formed by placing the end of your penis into the receiver’s mouth. This maneuver if preferably performed in water (bath tub, hot tub, pool etc.). [via Urban Dictionary]

Thanks for ruining the memory of a great cartoon, Representative Eric Massa (D-NY).

I think by simply changing the name of the movie ‘The Crazies’ to ‘The Crazies and the Unnecessarily Fearful,’ it becomes a movie about the Tea Party.