Defintion: When your step-mother refuses to accept the fact she can’t be in the Christmas card photo.

Usage: The Bailey family had to suffer through yet another case of matrisinserotergus this year.

Def: (noun) A feeling of dread when you know you will be crushed on your wedding night.

Usage: Even though she was having fun at Prom with Toby, Bridget couldn’t shake her sense of nuptiaefrendosensus.

SPOILER – Seth Rogen wears a Green Coat.

So I’m a big Superhero guy. I like comics, but more than that I like Superhero movies. I was at Ghost Rider opening night and I’ve seen Elektra more times than most people have forgotten it was made.

But there’s something that hasn’t made sense for a long time. Back when 1989′s Batman made many teens like myself take craps in their tight-rolled Bugle Boys Hollywood got the hint, we wanted to see some Superheroes dammit. So what did they roll out in the few years that came after it? The Rocketeer, Dick Tracy, The Shadow, and The Phantom. Did their statistics somehow show that Grandpa’s were what made Batman so popular? What no Lone Ranger movie?

Not that I was complaining, the last Superhero movie prior to Batman was Superman IV, I was happy to have any. But is it just me or are the above-mentioned heroes and The Green Hornet not special in any way? I love watching the 1966 Green Hornet, but it was made before America knew how to be entertained. The concept literally is “a guy in a Green Coat stops thefts.” Substitute “Rocket” for “Green Coat” and you have The Rocketeer. Substitute “Rocket” for Purple Suit and you have Syfy’s newest tv show, The Phantom. Yes, just like the movie from the 90′s with the premise that could only be described as exotic and fascinating by an Amish guy. “A guy in a Purple suit who people thought died stops criminals who go to all the trouble of going to the jungle he lives in.” All superheroes are good for me, but I really don’t get the fascination with these old fart radio drama heroes, and Seth Rogen as The Green Hornet? Is that they weirdest career left turn you’ve heard since A League of Their Own somehow signaled to Hollywood that Geena Davis might make a good Pirate. Seth Rogen? The pot guy? I always saw him as more of a Doc Savage: Man Of Bronze type.

Riding this ride just might get you laid.

What parent, looking to fake their child’s birth certificate/announcement so that he can grow up to be President of The United States, misses the tiny detail that Barack Hussein Obama would be the craziest fucking name a President would ever have? You want to sneak through the system, try John Smith, or Stephe Schmidt. I’m just sayin’.

Now watch Jon Stewart poking a more brilliant hole in the theory.

It is funny that the bare minimum of research, say, a Google picture search, returns 100 pictures of Obama’s birth certificate. So…uh, there’s that. Or should I say that a basic search of Google reveals that these people aren’t that interested in whether there is or isn’t a birth certificate. Or should I say, birth certificate or not – there’s an “other” in the white house.

Comic-con.

For two weeks every summer, the sleepy town of San Diego becomes the center of the geek universe.

Movie studios hawk their tentpole films for the following summer. Video game companies show off their big games for the holiday season. TV studios give fans unprecedented acess to their favorite stars.

Other sites will keep you in the know with the latest gossip, the color of Hayden Panitierre’s underwear, and other such things.

Not here.

Sandy and Steve had an inspiration for coverage befitting Chicago’s favorite comedy group. Sandy wanted someone who would be able to find one of Hollywood’s greatest actors and ask the tough questions.

So, they called in a convention vet who has the contacts and insider knowledge to get the job done. That’s me, James Alsup

During my quest, I’ll take photos and videos of the parts of Comic-con you don’t see on TV or YouTube videos. So sit back and enjoy as I bring you

Comic-Con 2009: The Search for Marc Singer.