The Alderman holds a press conference at City Hall. Questions were asked, answered, skirted and tempers rose. All in all, it’s just business as usual in the 53rd.

Also, be sure to follow the whole story over at The 53rd Ward!

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Watch all of it – it’s awesome.

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I’ve always found it difficult to ‘name products’. I mean, what is going to capture the imagination of all potential consumers? Plus, you are probably trying to combat an already established market leader, so what do you do?

Toss it to the co-anchor. They will ALWAYS come up with something.

An outbreak of salmonella in 10 states has prompted the recall of sprouts. You know why else sprouts should be recalled? Because they taste bad.

Let me put it another way: Sprouts are dumb. They are a dumb food. It’s like eating dirt.

Me At Jimmy John’s: I’ll take a #4, no sprouts. In fact, can you please remove all sprouts from your restaurant. They are a terrible, terrible food. If they have nutritional value, I say, so does dirt. And worms. Both of which taste no worse than sprouts. So I hear.

Stoned guy behind cash register: (stares).

So food industry people and gods of salmonella, do us a favor – when you figure out what caused this deadly outbreak, go ahead and don’t tell us. Just keep people guessing so they stop buying sprouts.

And the next time you’re at the store thinking about buying a bag of sprouts, buy lettuce instead. Though lettuce has no taste, you can splash on some balsamic vinegar and olive oil and end up with some flavor. With sprouts, the taste of dirt will climb it’s muddy way through the dressing and land on your tongue. You will be mad.

If we are what we eat, perhaps choose not to be dirt.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had some tough words for North Korea over the sinking of a South Korean navy ship.

Immediately after, North Korea hired Bill Clinton as an advisor.

Also… North Korea’s response to this was “Should South Korea take steps to retaliate, North Korea will “strongly react to them with such merciless punishment as…”

Such merciless punishment? Someone’s testing out lines from their new action movie script. I’m looking at you Kim Jong Il.

Merciless punishment. That’s awesome. Nick Cage – I’ve got a line for you to use in your next movie.

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Hey folks, Fred the Tuckpointer here with a quick check in from my sister Mis’ place in North Royalton.  Since my shoulder separation, Sadie decided we should be separate too, at least until I “get my act together” -  whatever that means.  Its not too bad – Mis works third shift down at the clinic, so we barely talk to each other and she gets lots more cable channels than what we get at home.  And her internet’s faster.

So Joel on this site here chimed in and wanted to get my take on Obama blowing the Olympics.   I think its awesome whenever bad things happen to the country, as long as they happen while Obama is president.  Let me explain: we all know that Obama, and everything he stands for is everything our Founding Fathers fought against.  Take the socialist medicine program Barry’s running down the pipe; in the old days, when George Washington was wounded he would call his OWN doctor, not some British appointed court quack to get it patched up.  That’s the way it was, and the way it should be.  So when the insurance companies threaten to raise everyone’s insurance rates, then that means Obama is a failure and should be impeached.  Same deal with Afghanistan – he got us in this mess we’re in over there, and now he can’t make up his mind how many troops to send over.  Whatever he ends up doing, if it doesn’t go well that means America wins in the long run.  Its important that he looks bad, no matter what.

So back to the Olympics…its no coincidence that Chicago, that dirty and corrupt city, was in bed with Obama the whole bid process.  I was rooting so hard for him to get embarrassed, and when they gave the games to Rio, it was the first of many nails into the coffin of his presidency.

And the Noble Peace prize thing…well, I think everyone knows that’s rigged.

In other news, I still can’t move my arm above my shoulder.  I work in the receiving bay at Wal-Mart, so it may be tough to do much of anything, but I can’t afford any more time off.  Maybe I’ll drop by the house on the way to work tomorrow to see if Sadie’s up for a visit.  In the meanwhile, Fred the Tuckpointer signing off.