Tomorrow’s the big day!  And so, we thought we check in one last time with Schadenfreude’s (now 4 year old) political pundit,  Emmett James.  Emmett, seen here with his Obama puppet that he made at the Library, has had some strong and accurate predictions in the past.  We caught up with Emmett in his post Halloween candy haze and asked him a few hard hitting questions.

Schad: Who will win tomorrow’s election?

EJ: Oh, I don’t really know because there is two people and if there is two people then, ahhh, I don’t know who is going to win.  John McCain might win. 

Schad: Did you vote yet?

EJ: No, I’m too little.

Schad: If you could vote, who would you vote for?

EJ: The same guy, John McCain.

Schad: Why?

EJ:  Just because I like him.

Schad: What do you think Obama & McCain dressed up as for Halloween?

EJ: (Re: McCain) I think a good costume would be a monster.  An ugly scary monster.  (Re: Obama) They would be friends, so I think he would dress up as a monster.  The same kind of monster.

Schad:  Would you date Piper Palin

EJ: (Nods yes)

Schad: Will you watch the election returns tomorrow night?

EJ: (Nods yes) IF.. if I didn’t have to go to bed.

Schad: What do you think the loser will do with all of their free time?

EJ: Well.. on the next election they could win!

Schad:  What advice would you like to give the new President?

EJ: Good ideas!  Let me think of some…  Doing their job for them:  Everyone would help everyone who would help every President while they were gone for a while.

Schad:  Cupcakes or Popsicles?

EJ:  To do what?

I can’t prove this, nor do I have any interest in looking for proof. I am not a lawyer, I’m a bullshitter. But I just heard a speech from John McCain (the Senator not the guy who invented the dehumidifier) where he called Barack Obama: “The most liberal Senator ever to run for office.” Now, I’m 100%  positive that this was a major speech point for Bush in 2004. I remember this being repeated over and over as though it meant something. “John Kerry is the most liberal Senator in the Senate.” What are the chances that everytime the Democrats run a candidate, that they run the most liberal one? And who would be the most liberal Senator if Hillary had won the nomination? Having listened to Conservatives in power most of my life I can’t tell you what happens when liberals run the United States, because they never follow up the scary warning with any information as to why this is bad, but I can tell from their tone that it sucks. In fact, so convinced are Conservatives that simply dropping the “L” bomb makes us run and hide under our beds, that they don’t very often follow up with why that’s bad. I know it has something to do with taxing, and then spending those taxes (it’s gonna suck to start paying taxes again, won’t it?) So, as a service to Republicans, and those who are unfamiliar with exactly how scared to be, after the jump I have included Dictionary.com’s definition of liberal, so you know EXACTLY what they mean. 

lib⋅er⋅al

    [lib-er-uhl, lib-ruhl] Show IPA Pronunciation  

–adjective

1.	favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.

2.	(often initial capital letter) noting or pertaining to a political party advocating measures of progressive political reform.

3.	of, pertaining to, based on, or advocating liberalism.

4.	favorable to or in accord with concepts of maximum individual freedom possible, esp. as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties.

5.	favoring or permitting freedom of action, esp. with respect to matters of personal belief or expression: a liberal policy toward dissident artists and writers.

6.	of or pertaining to representational forms of government rather than aristocracies and monarchies.

7.	free from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant: a liberal attitude toward foreigners.

8.	open-minded or tolerant, esp. free of or not bound by traditional or conventional ideas, values, etc.

9.	characterized by generosity and willingness to give in large amounts: a liberal donor.

10.	given freely or abundantly; generous: a liberal donation.

11.	not strict or rigorous; free; not literal: a liberal interpretation of a rule.

12.	of, pertaining to, or based on the liberal arts.

13.	of, pertaining to, or befitting a freeman.

–noun

14.	a person of liberal principles or views, esp. in politics or religion.

15.	(often initial capital letter) a member of a liberal party in politics, esp. of the Liberal party in Great Britain.

7-11 is starting it’s informal (yet creepily accurate) coffee/election poll.  You pick a McCain cup if you like coffee.  And you pick an Obama cup if you like your coffee black — or something like that — I get confused.  In a city like Chicago, this poll is pretty hilarious.  Did they even send McCain cups to the Chicago locations?  Although, as I write this I realize that in Chicago, McCain might come out on top… because all the Obama supporters I know buy their coffee at Starbucks.

TCIF: If you don’t come, Sandy will kill you from Schadenfreude Media, LLC on Vimeo.

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As of 10:30pm, there are 80 references to “Joe The Plumber” on youtube. I’m real curious what 24 hours of a nation full of videocameras brings. I have no need to post this clip, I’ll be tagging all my posts with “Joe The Plumber” anyway, but, like you, I didn’t know what the hell John McCain was talking about. I thought it would be some outrageous piece of tape, but I think the McCain Campaign just highlighted a clip of Obama being a pretty good communicator. Sure, Obama lost a vote he wasn’t going to get anyway, but I don’t think Obama’s tax policy, nor he come off too badly in this clip considering the situation. One thing Obama fails to mention is that tax cuts below $250,000 means more people can afford to pay Joe for his service at the business he’s thinking of buying that I don’t, personally, think exists. Incidentally: The Poor Little Fella Who Made $250,000 and other Republican children’s stories are available at our online store.

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And while I’m on the debate: If “ACORN is now on the verge of maybe perpetrating one of the greatest frauds in voter history in this country.” shouldn’t you be able to have them all arrested without causing any embarrassment to you or your campaign? The election’s been stolen from him three weeks before we could even vote.

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TCIF: The Ed Bus Tumblers from Schadenfreude Media, LLC on Vimeo.

TCIF: Fighting For Justice! from Schadenfreude Media, LLC on Vimeo.

TCIF: Sign The Patriot Act (again) from Schadenfreude Media, LLC on Vimeo.