Suuuure, “DIE HARD” Director is sentenced to a year in prison. Because nobody weeps for the internment of the director of Medicine Man. Please, everyone reading this, do Schadenfreude.net one favor. JUST ONE favor, please bring up this topic with a loved one or a friend tonight over dinner, but asking if they’ve heard that the director of Medicine Man is going to jail? Thank you Bit Police. I know Joel’s in, I’m sure Connor’s in, and I know Fenster’s down.

Because nothing says Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner like The Blues Brothers and Edward Scissorhands.

Comic-con.

For two weeks every summer, the sleepy town of San Diego becomes the center of the geek universe.

Movie studios hawk their tentpole films for the following summer. Video game companies show off their big games for the holiday season. TV studios give fans unprecedented acess to their favorite stars.

Other sites will keep you in the know with the latest gossip, the color of Hayden Panitierre’s underwear, and other such things.

Not here.

Sandy and Steve had an inspiration for coverage befitting Chicago’s favorite comedy group. Sandy wanted someone who would be able to find one of Hollywood’s greatest actors and ask the tough questions.

So, they called in a convention vet who has the contacts and insider knowledge to get the job done. That’s me, James Alsup

During my quest, I’ll take photos and videos of the parts of Comic-con you don’t see on TV or YouTube videos. So sit back and enjoy as I bring you

Comic-Con 2009: The Search for Marc Singer.

Afro Ninja. Apparently, there’s a show on Comedy Central called “Tosh 2.0″ in which the guy does follow-ups with these internet stars. This dude, although kinda douchey here, is in reality, a licensed stuntman. So don’t worry, go ahead and laugh, he’s gotten over it by now.

Click here to view the embedded video.

This can’t be a real, pivotal character in Transformers 2, or else, I will cry – and my anger will burn with the intensity of a 1000 suns. “Ejector”. A GD toaster?!

To say I’m excited for Transformers 2 is an understatement. I love, and will henceforth go on record as saying so, that I thoroughly, undoubtedly, and always will, love the first one. I just do. It’s got big robots, big explosions, some “America, rah rah rah” moments – and most of all, Shia LeBouf. Who can’t get enough of that kid?

Ok, maybe not the Shia part, but seeing Optimus rolling down the street on the big screen was one of those moments in movies where I go, “Whoa.” Like that moment when you first, FIRST, see the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. Remember that moment? That was like, the best moment EVER to be a fan of movies.

Anywhoo – I love Transformers. HOWEVER – when I see that Bay put in a transforming toaster…? That’s when I start getting a little mad. Who knows, maybe it’s like the XBOX transformer at the end of the first movie… It’s a little snippet, side thing or something.

But if it’s real… By God, I will storm the gates of Hollywood.

I’m all for “suburban malaise” and understand that it’s important that Leonardo DiCaprio get work – but seriously. When I watch this trailer, or hear anything about this movie, I just think that Dreamworks got a group of people in a room, unveiled my photo and said, “This guy. We need to create a movie that has absolutely NO VALUE to this guy. Start giving me ideas.”

• What’s Leonardo DiCaprio doing?
• Something about raising a family.
• Set it in the 1950s!
• Lots of running on a suburban street!
• We need a “For Sale” sign at the beginning
• Cocktail parties!

I’m sure there was a longer list – but these were the highlights.  I now present you with the trailer that has no value to me, but I’m sure the movie is going to be “awesome and important.”  And I’m sure my sister-in-law, Bridget, is going to tell me that how moving it was.  I’m ready for it.  However, I think it important that Hollywood know they are acutely aware of who their market ISN’T.

Will his star ever stop shining in front of the bus stop on Hollywood & Gower?

You know who loves Sinatra? Todd Voorhies. Is Sinatra’s star in front of:

A: A head shop.

B: A Youth Hostel that you imagine is a frequent stop for EMT’s.

C: A Pizza parlor with blood in the breezeway.

D: An ironic store the would be much classier anywhere but Hollywood Boulevard.I’m not lying about the Pizza Parlor, am I Connor?