The Joy Bait is just two doors down from the Hot Box.

Riding this ride just might get you laid.

Tyra Banks is on the job.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this shitstorm of a a television show, Tyra’s specialty (correction: one of her many specialties) is inventing simple words to describe a more complex concept.  Usually, this involves taking 2 key words from said concept and mashing them together, then repeating 50-75 times over the course of her hour-long show.

My new favorite? Mantrum.

To quote the wordsmith herself:

“When a man gets all upset, like a child, it’s not a tantrum.  It’s a Mantrum!” (emphasis mine).

The show then went on to show various video montages of boyfriends getting very angry at their girlfriends.  This part wasn’t so funny.  In fact, it’s not funny at all– it’s men with either profound insecurities or serious anger issues who are having a difficult and potentially dangerous time expressing themselves.  But don’t worry ladies!  When your man starts to get all smashy, it’s just a Mantrum! According to the show, the best way to deal with it is to talk to him like he’s a small child.  I’d like to hear from ONE man who doesn’t feel better when his girlfriend emasculates him in public, especially on national television.  Now, clean up the mess you made in the front yard like a big boy, and I’ll make you a peanut butter sandwich.

Hey funny fuckers – caption this for me. Miles is 2.

Comic-con.

For two weeks every summer, the sleepy town of San Diego becomes the center of the geek universe.

Movie studios hawk their tentpole films for the following summer. Video game companies show off their big games for the holiday season. TV studios give fans unprecedented acess to their favorite stars.

Other sites will keep you in the know with the latest gossip, the color of Hayden Panitierre’s underwear, and other such things.

Not here.

Sandy and Steve had an inspiration for coverage befitting Chicago’s favorite comedy group. Sandy wanted someone who would be able to find one of Hollywood’s greatest actors and ask the tough questions.

So, they called in a convention vet who has the contacts and insider knowledge to get the job done. That’s me, James Alsup

During my quest, I’ll take photos and videos of the parts of Comic-con you don’t see on TV or YouTube videos. So sit back and enjoy as I bring you

Comic-Con 2009: The Search for Marc Singer.

So as many of you may know, I came away from my weeklong trip to Chicago with a pretty funny getting-picked-up-at-a-bar story. 

So Justin and I did Talkin’ Funny, with bad-sport Steve Gadlin and were looking for somewhere to watch the end of the Bulls game. For me, this is a combo of two things that I can only do/enjoy in Chicago. 

Now, we could’ve went over to Jox!, or SportzBar!, but we felt it would be much more Alderman Bus of us to catch the game in the Ogilvie Transportation Center, where everyone’s a stranger just eating up time until the 6:45 to Lombard.

There’s two bars at the Ogilvie. 

The first bar is the one that had ten people in it and was bright and had clocks stating the times in other countries. They were playing the Blackhawks game. 

Then there was the Rail Club, a storefront that used to be a Hallmark or a Lids baseball hat store. Now it’s painted completely black and had one other guy in it, and the Bulls game. 

So Justin and I sit down and get a beer the size of the trip to Oak Park and are very loud about the game, loud in general, paying no attention to anyone else. At some point I get a bluetooth message saying that “JerseyBoys3″ would like to send me his personal information. I’ve found out from others since the incident that this is a common gay pickup. What’s funny is that loud Justin and Adam didn’t know this.

So, with no perspective on the event; this conversation happens in front of the guy discreetly sending some info in what is now clearly the gay bar of the two Ogilvie bars. 

Adam: What the fuck is this?
Justin: “JerseyBoys3″ wants to send you his  personal information? 
Adam: Some guy wants to send me his info. 
Justin: Maybe it’s some dude.

Then, we both look up at the only guy in the bar, who has already put his umprella on his arm, picked up his briefcase and was in mid-bolt.

And now that you know it’s the gay bar of the Ogilvie: The Metromix description is much much funnier.

Located inside Ogilvie Transportation Center, this dark little bar offers a nice place for a quick one before you hit the train. Or, just grab one to go. They offer tall boys — that Metra usually allows on train (but they’ve been known to limit the practice during busy nights such as Taste of Chicago). If you’re into mixed drinks, you can get them to-go inside Styrofoam cups, as well.

That’s what HE said.