Category
True Stories
-
01.30.08Perhaps The Most Disturbing Video… (NSFW)
Oh, I’m sure there are more disturbing videos out there. I just wanted to get your attention. I guess this is the latest “viral” video worming its way through the interwebs. Just so you know - the dude just goes through talking about how awesome he is. He uses the word “f***ing” a few times. That’s why it’s NSFW - he uses the word “f***ing”. Not because he gets nude. However he does tweak his nipples. But yeah, no nudity. Unless you call a topless guy nudity. I’ve watched this like 7 times. It’s like looking at the baby pig in formaldehyde in the jar. It’s gross, but you really… can’t… look…. away. Watch it. Just put on some headphones. And when you start cringing, and your boss asks you what’s wrong…. Just hit play. And then he/she will cringe. And then you’ll comment and ask that we don’t post this stuff.
But I will again. And you’ll watch it. And we’ll do this dance all over again. -
10.11.07“Bridget”
…annnnd time! I own a car. At some point the amount of work you could have becomes much greater than what you can have by taking buses and trains and shit. It’s a 1995 Ford Paidfor (Bart’s Joke), 111,000 miles put on it by a close friend and sister of Army Spc. Tommy Pritchard. Someone who really really really takes care of her posessions. It was loved, the transmission’s still tight, acceleration’s still tight. For how nice it is, I was a given a total deal and would like to publicly thank Ms. P. for that. I’m 34 and I bought my first car, how about that? You read it here first on Schadenfreude.net…I tried to post it on LAist, but they said they didn’t give a shit. The Post-Production Team of Fashionista Diaries pointed out that the car was bought with Fashionista money, so they named the car after the main chick in the show. It’s kind of perfect. The car is kind of perfect. Thank you Conner for being conscientious enough to open the door to puke the night I got her.
-
10.04.07Hey, top-rated, critically acclaimed hour-long drama, I’m trying to sleep!
Meanwhile 1/2 mile down the street from Spider-Man… One of the great things about Hollywood is that they’re always shooting something, everywhere…always. I edit right next to the studios where they shoot Grey’s Anatomy and always hear them calling lunch. They also shoot The Shield there and shoot lots of the show’s neighborhood locations in and around Los Feliz. So I’m wandering out to grab a bite to eat and, hey, it’s The Thing, and a whole tv crew and cop cars with lights on driving up and down the street. I’ve always pretended I’m in a movie to some degree or another. If you listen to the Bourne Supremacy, soundtrack anywhere, it feels like someone’s on your tail. But in Hollywood they make it so easy to pretend. I find that admirable.
-
09.24.07One of the best things ever said to me
First of all I hate when the people in the convenient store know me too well. “Only a Diet Coke tonight, you usually get a power bar.” …shut the fuck up. Second, I don’t exactly have a whippit problem. I decided to buy a box (24 nitrous hits) and a charger for a get-together a month or so ago. Big hit. Saturday night Conner came over and I decided it would be a good time to invest in another box. If a rate of 24 whippits a month so far makes me an addict, so be it, I guess it would be the only way to heighten the bit. So I’ve been into this headshop on Hollywood Blvd. precisely once, to buy whippits, once. What is the most embarrassing thing that could happen upon my return? Yes. That’s what happened. I walk in and he shouts for the whole store “Hello my friend, we have new Whippits come in!” …you’re kidding right? I was shocked in that way that made me laugh because I realized I’ve never needed a response to that sentence, plus I realized I didn’t care how the other customer with the Black Flag shirt perceives me.
-
08.27.07The Whippit Express rolls
I went to a couple get-togethers this weekend and brought Whippit’s along. This truly is a great bit. I turned a few people onto the concept. It’s hilarious because it’s laughing gas anyway, that’s what Nitrous is, but everybody I got to do it could not get the image of doing it in the back of a Camaro in 1985 out of their head so they laughed twice as hard. It’s a really silly buzz. Best part of it all, I did whippits with a friend in the theatre while watching Superbad. Something about that just felt right.
-
08.07.07This Blog is admissable as evidence
See this photo, that’s where the dumbass lives who followed me this morning in his Gold and Dark Blue 1993-1994 Ford Explorer, I’ve only seen one car that’s Gold and Dark Blue and I’m pretty sure it’s a mid-nineties Ford Explorer. After the jump is the entire scary story of the guy that lives on the corner of Monte Mar and Larke Ellen who drives a mid-nineties Ford Explorer and how he followed me down side-alleys and streets and ultimately waited me out within camerashot of the security cameras at the Exxon Station and BP Stations at the corner of Olympic and Robertson between 06:10am and 06:40am on Tuesday, August 7th, 2007. Do I have this stupid guys number or what? I feel like calling it into the police just to requisition the gas station and traffic camera videos just so I can see him circle the gas stations and go down alleys and wait for me, as the final standoff was very purposefully on camera. Well enough teasing, I went to google maps to show you the whole adventure in detail, google maps even has this amazing new “streetview” mode where you can see the alley where the guy idled for ten minutes waiting for me to get on the bus. I’m still a little shaken, so this is therapeutic, and evidence. I think my sunshiney L.A. outlook has taken it’s first barnyard beating. And after such a great weekend…
