Category
Technology
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05.05.08Wanna Go Into Space?
Once Sandy reads this, he’s gonna be SUPER JEALOUS. See, he was like an RA at Space Camp. He was the guy who knew everyone by name, called guys, “Chief” and “Captain” and made all the kids call him “Shuttle Commander”. So he loves Space. And NASA. But who wouldn’t - he’s just a red-blooded American who’s proud of the achievements of his country.
But I’m gonna beat him into space. No Big Deal, but my name is gonna go on a microchip that’s headed into space and the moon or some shit like that. Sandy? He’s stuck with his Earth-bound memories. My name, along with a Gazillion other people’s, is going to be shot into space, and hopefully read by some alien who can read English. Or mathematics, or whatever.
Wanna get onboard? Signup here. (But don’t tell Sandy.)
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04.14.08Welcome to Warp Zone Old
A couple of weeks ago, I ordered a refurbished the old mid-80’s Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), and enjoyed the hell out of it for about a week. I played Super Mario and Metroid nonstop, and was amazed at how much I actually remembered in Mario — which tubes to go down, which bricks are the “mega-coins” as we used to call them, where to press B to go super fast, and how to skip forward to Level 8 and rescue the Princess in less than 10 minutes. But after a couple of days, the lure wore off, I got bored, and thought of ordering some more games, but for now, I’ll just keep it on hand when I host my 30-year high school reunion.
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04.01.08Gmail is now Cheatmail
I’ve been a Gmail user since the very beginning, thanks to an early heads-up from Stephen. Just this week, I sold an old spare computer battery on Craig’s List using my old “97Rules_JunoSux@hotmail” account, it occurred to me that Hotmail is so incredibly slow and archaic compared to Gmail that it doesn’t even warrant a rant. But then this morning I noticed that Gmail has YET ANOTHER awesome feature — you can actually BACKSTAMP your emails so it looks like you sent that all-important email before 5 pm! Who’s ever heard of that? Maybe hackers have been doing this for centuries, maybe I’m just old fashioned, but backstamping emails? Marking emails as “read” ?? Wow! I’m gonna email my old boss at the International Association of Assessing Officers and say I quit before he has the chance to fire me (I asked to resign instead, forfeiting unemployment insurance so that I could go through life never having been technically fired –> full disclosure: I was fired for being late one morning, and this guy was clinically nuts and was later canned). I was also fired from Structure. Just kidding. I quit Structure as well. But The Buckle? They CANNED my ass. Just kidding. I never worked at The Buckle, my brother worked at The Buckle in the River Hills Mall in Mankato, MN and I’m sure he still has a great name there and that The Buckle organization would be glad to have him back at any time to help face basics and move some of their existing acid-cargo-pocketed-denim, Kid ‘N Play cardigan sweater and wicker belt inventory.
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03.06.08Someone owes Sprint $10,000,000.00
Got my Sprint cell phone bill the other day and noticed a new feature — 7 spaces for digits in the “amount due” box. In other words, it’s now possible to owe Sprint $9,999,999.99. WHO IN THE F owes Sprint ten million bucks a month? Sure, companies are worth billions in these modern days of microwave ovens, fax machines and air phones, but ten mill each month? Who’s knocking out that many calls — and, while we’re at it, who’s racking this up on Sprint PCS cell phones? Hey Phil and Connor — is this the NeoFuturists’ monthly cell charge? Stephen, you knocking out a buncha cold calls to get those old college plays produced?
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03.05.08What is a Camera’s First Shot?
This one is a little bit of geek - but good for a Google Image Search regardless (NSFW). If you have a Kodak digital camera - when you insert a new memory card, the camera starts recording images as DSC00001.jpg - and naming them incrementally from there. SO - if you type in DSC00001.jpg into Google, you can see what people are taking pictures of first. Interestingly enough, most of them are boobs. Seriously. Boobs. So only click the link if you can look at boobs safely, where your boss won’t see - ok? I warned you. Clicking the link, you put your own life in danger. Don’t do it, your boss is a sneaky one - he’s got his quiet shoes on today, so the normal “tap tap” you would hear when he approaches isn’t there to warn you!! Watch out! Ok. Fine. I warned you. Click the link. See? The boobs weren’t even that good. You’d get better boobs if you just did a Google Image Search for boobs. But anyway. Moral of the story - rename your pics before uploading.
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02.18.08So that’s Facebook
In an attempt to avoid a repetition of trite, cliche’ posts about how great Facebook is or how easy it is or how much fun it is to find that old high school friend or to write on Connor’s wall (and I fully realize that the mere act of writing a post saying that I’m on Facebook is kinda douchey, so go ahead and take a jab), I’m finally on Facebook, I’m five years late in the game, and I’m having a ton of fun. I’m sending people Karma, I’m a vampire, werewolf, verified that Gillian is my Mom and that Justin doesn’t know me. Wow. Really douchey. But so much fun.
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02.15.08
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02.11.08
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01.31.08
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01.30.08
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01.28.08FEAR the Google….
Sure sure sure. Google says that it’s mantra is “Do no evil.” But have you seen the latest incarnation of “Locate Me” and “Street View”?! That shit is getting real close to being Big Brother. And remember, this is just the stuff you and I know about. Think about what is really cooking in those Google Labs! YouTube is just the beginning. Pretty soon, they’ll know when you’ve been bad or good - so you better be good for goodness sake!
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01.26.08Remember the Web in 1996?
Schadenfreude.net” />If you say yes, you’re probably lying. To yourself, to God and to your Coach. Browsing this weekend, a favorite site of mine, Gizmodo, put together an awesome retrospective of a bunch of well-known companies’ websites circa 1996. They are freakin’ hilarious. From Microsoft to Honda. From Circuit City to NBC - this covers just about everything - including Google. Funny thing is - even the Google page has changed.
And just so you know - that has put me in a nostalgic mood - I’m gonna go through the Wayback machine (which has been collecting websites since 1996) - and see all the incarnations of Schadenfreude.net I can scare up. If I remember correctly - we’re just as hilarious. Look for that later…
