Hey folks, Fred the Tuckpointer here with…well…some scary news.   I’ve been cooling my jets at home, after the  tuckpointing gig closed up early at the Terminal Tower.  Sadie’s not too happy with me buying Browns season tickets, but I’ve managed to secure some income for the time being.   I went with Don down to the unemployment office to help him with his paperwork, and decided I’d be stupid to not fill some out for myself.  Better me than some welfare mom, right?   And I’m gonna pay it all back, too.  Its just a loan.  Don’t worry Glenn, I won’t become a “99er”.    I’m looking for work right now.

So I heard about this Mosque being built on top of the remains of the World Trade Center, and how Hussein Obama is all for it.   I get that the Constitution says that you can practice whatever religion you want, but this is different.   The guys who wrote the Constitution didn’t know what Islam was.   If they did, and they knew how crazy Muslim terrorists are, they would have written something like “All can worship freely unless you’re a Muslim, then you get lost.”  Something like that.

Emotions are running raw, and it looks like there’s not a whole lot anyone can do about it…but my sources tell me there’s more to this “community center” than meets the eye.  Check it out:

Friends, you may think its just a toy, but this “Terrordome” represents what is really hiding inside the Ground Zero Mosque.  Less than 2 blocks away from where they’re building a new World Trade Center, is a building likely housing secret laser turrets and missile launchers, capable of hitting any GI Joe vehicles…I mean, New York Landmarks.  And look at all of the places where Al Queida can be hiding.  They’re probably gonna have some of those armored hang gliders with little machine guns too.  I had one of these growing up, and it’s loaded.  I’m pretty sure Obama, the secret Muslim, is funding and helping them build it.  Location is the key.

Well, to quote Sarah Palin – “Don’t retreat, reload!”  We gotta get ready for this upcoming terrorist onslaught.  The dumb ass mayor of New York is ok with this, but as conservatives we gotta buy more guns and…shit, I don’t know.  Get a bow like Rambo?  The stormtroopers are coming at any time now, its just a matter of when.  If Obama’s giving them advanced weapons like a H.I.S.S. tank, or even a F.A.N.G, regular guns aren’t going to cut it.  Maybe its time for me and some other Tuckpointers to start a resistance group.    This gave me some inspiration…for the singing, replace “Cobra” with “Obama”.  (I’m totally Snake-Eyes, by the way).

Sheesh.   In any case, if we conservatives keep up the pressure, we still can stop Obama and his Al Queida super Mosque.    Spread the word – the more people we clue in, we’ll eventually win the battle.  And Learning is Half the Battle.  Wait, I did it wrong…

Till next time, Fred the Tuckpointer signing off…

Hey folks, Fred the Tuckpointer here.  Things have been terrible lately…and if you guessed its Obama’s fault, you win the prize.  It all started while I was reading Brad the College Idiots’s latest rant and mockery of American values.   Richie called:  the “stimulus” money finally ran out, so the tuckpointing gig at the Terminal Tower is over.  Kaput.  No more tuckpointing.   I thought the  Porkulous package was supposed to create or SAVE jobs that were already there?   So the economy is still sputtering, and while it was nice to make some nice, fat tuckpointing cash for a change, Obama’s plan has failed miserably and I’m out of a job.  Again.

We’re luckier than most – Sadie’s teaching job covers most of the major bills like the mortgage and my medical debt.  Still, a man’s got to work and provide for his family, and I’m not about to switch to Pabst again.  Its either Great Lakes Beer or nothing.

Problem is, because Obama interfered with the Market, there’s no jobs for me in the Cleveland area.  Sadie tried to get me to write up a resume, but that’s stupid – I’ve never had a job that I couldn’t just fill out an application for.   That’s the way it should be: you fill out the paper, they hire you and you work for awhile, then you buy the business and you’re set.  Anyway, I went around to Home Depot, a couple of gas stations, even the golf course where my old man works…nothing.  No jobs.  Not even an interview.  Last night I was giving the bad news to Sadie, when she told me I should file for unemployment insurance.  Which is welfare.  ‘Cause Rush says so.

So here’s the pickle, if you will…if I chuck my pride and head down to the unemployment office, they’ll give me a check and I can sit at home being lazy like everyone else.  That’s the way Obama wants it to be, so that he can declare himself dictator and make me a slave.  Uh-uh.  Not going to happen.  That’s the Liberal way to go, and I’m no pussy Liberal.  Let some other douchebag plead for help – I’m a real man, and I don’t need help or anything.  We got some land in the backyard I can farm, and I bet I can teach our dog Bernie Kosar how to hunt and kill deer or something.  And I’ll put fliers in everyone’s mailbox on the street asking if they need their house tuckpointed.   ‘Cause that’s what I do and that’s who I am.  A Tuckpointer.

Listen, I gotta run.  Sadie just opened the mail and she’s pissed because I bought Browns season tickets again.   Also, I’m a couple of months behind on the F150 payments, and we need some groceries.   My buddy Don‘s heading to the unemployment office to get his check now that they’re starting up again, but…you know.  He may need some help with the paperwork.  Ol’ Don’s not too swift.  So…anyway.  Things will pick up eventually.  Till next time, Fred the Tuckpointer signing off.

First and foremost, hello to my dear old friend Fred the Tuckpointer. I think Fred thought he scared me out of town. Well in a way, he and his ilk all scared me right out of town – to Cape Town, South Africa, where I took in the beautiful game with two of my beautiful undergraduate assistants, Hannah and Thea.

We arrived in South Africa early, took in a safari, hiked the coast, sipped wine in the evenings and dined on umleqwa, isidudu and bobotie, along with koeksisters for desert – you know, the typical fare for a former Dutch and British colony. It’s hard to know what was more amazing – the food, the people, the eloquent and graceful game of futbol, or Hannah and Thea. In order to live a more humble existence while traveling and avoid coming off like crass over-consuming Americans, we shared a room the entire trip. It made for tight quarters, but we didn’t mind.

Fred, I brought back a vuvuzela for you. It’s an elegant instrument with a very engaging sound. The South African people played it all throughout the World Cup games. I thought you might like to try it at one of your American football games that you attend there in Cincinnati.

So of course I return to the states to find that Sarah Palin is attempting to put herself on par with the Bard. I don’t know what’s crazier, Fred. That everyone is so upset about some ball player moving to Miami, where frankly, the club scene is over-rated, or your beloved anti-intellectual, mentally feeble, misinformed self-proclaimed thought leader believes that she can put herself on par with the greatest writer in the history of the English language. It’s as nuts as Americans thinking they can advance past the round of 16 in the World Cup, and as ridiculous as claiming that the Super Bowl is a “world championship” game.

I invite you and your arrogant, hard-hat wearing, oil-changing, conformist, non-thinking conservative friends to reach out to the rest of the world to discover that it’s ok for men to dance, children to drink and intellectuals to make love to a beautiful undergrad or two on a terrace in Cape Town. Embrace world sports, get over this obsession with Nike, Shack, and ESP. I don’t even know what those last two things are.

I think that our differences may not be so different, Fred. As I sit here, smoking a hookah with Hannah (Thea’s parents were quite adamant she return home before the school year starts up again) I can’t help but think that perhaps in the dance that the rest of the world calls Football, that Progressives and Republicans can find common ground and possibly, alas, comaraderie. I mean, probably not, but I am really high right now. I intended to put apple-flavored tobacco in the hookah but I think I grabbed the wrong bag. Or the right bag.

Hey folks, Fred the Tuckpointer making like Ronnie Reagan and  kicking liberal ass.  Part of me thought after my election to the Union Compliance Board that the conservative wheels of power would start grinding again.  My boss Richie said that we aren’t due for another full meeting till end of June, though.  That’s fine – gives me plenty of time to work on my manifesto and other stuff.  Besides, there’s a lot of stuff going on that’s making me cross my arms more than usual.

Ever since Dear Leader stole the election back in 2008, the Liberals have been prancing around like they own the place.  They even went on a flag burning spree that burned up to 25 flags on Memorial Day.  Conservapedia nailed it….why do the Liberals hate the symbol of our Freedom so much???

Then, I caught wind that Obama was ditching out on the time honored tradition that Presidents are never supposed to miss – laying a wreath in Arlington on Memorial Day.    Instead he decided to go play golf; that is, until Glenn Beck nailed him.  The Liberal Media tried to cover up for him, but Barry Hussein couldn’t hide from the watchful eyes of Conservatism.  So Obama made up some story up and found a cemetary downstate where he could go through the motions.  What a jerk.

But here’s the part that REALLY boils my patriotic blood…when he gets down there, it starts raining.  Since he never wanted to be there in the first place, ol’ Barry ditches! He makes up some excuse that “lightning is going to hit someone” or something, and tells everyone to go home.   That’s bullshit.  You wanna know how I know that?  When Obama was campaigning for President – when he really wanted the job – he never let any rain stop him.  Check out this pic:

See?  He’s not even holding an umbrella.  Let me tell you something, my friends…as a certified Tuckpointer  I work through rain, snow, strikes and sometimes on holidays.   That’s because I love my freedom and want to honor this great country.  This excuse of a President couldn’t be bothered to sit through a rain storm to pay his respects to a couple of our best in Illinois, and let that turkey Biden screw around at Arlington.  That’s like letting Art Modell babysit your kids while you’re at the lake.    Flags being desecrated, barbeques being rained out, and a Muslim President avoiding a sacred tradition – welcome to Obama’s Amerika.

I have to go – Sadie says I shouldn’t leave the flag out in the rain.  I don’t get the big deal – its made of nylon, so it’ll dry right out.  I’ve got lots more to say, so stay tuned.  Till then, Fred the Tuckpointer signing off.

Hey folks, Fred the Tuckpointer here with some incredible news.  So this Brad the College Communist character sends me text messages to my cell phone.  They aren’t the sexting messages he sends his students, but they’re usually things like “Bet u cant tell me what the Magna Carta iz”.  Dumb shit like that, designed to get a rise out of me.   Problem is, I have  a hard time sending back a good zinger, ’cause I don’t know how to make the numbers into letters on my phone.  I asked Sadie to show me, but she’s mad that I tie up the computer writing these blogs, and wouldn’t help.

The dirt bag went too far though with his last one: “U and Rush R Cowards Wont Put Your Moneyz Whr Ur Mth Is”.  He’s probably talking about why Rush never runs for office – its because he would rather keep making that fat cash off his radio show.   If I was making that kind of money off of this blogging thing (hint), I would do that too.  But I don’t.   So the challenge was on – Brad the Fruitbag thinks I talk too much and don’t do anything.   Even though I went to a Tea Party, I guess that’s not enough.   Ah, but remember God is a Conservative God.  He may sometimes work in mysterious ways, but he wants smaller government and less taxes like you and me.

Last Thursday Scotty B. was doing a job on the East Side when a gust of wind knocked him off of his ladder and into some power lines.  He got shocked pretty good, then croaked a couple of days later at the hospital.  I didn’t know him all that well, but he served on the Compliance Committee for the Local Tuckpointers 4012.  With his passing, that left the 4 person committee one guy short.  According to the Union Bylaws, an emergency meeting of the whole 4012 had to be held within a week of a committeeman stepping down/getting killled to elect his replacement.   My boss Richie is also the President of the 4012 and said anyone who wanted to run to replace Scotty B. should show up and put their name on the board.  I knew it was time for me to get active.

It was a nail biter – when I showed up at the hall there was already another guy’s name in contention, some dude named Meister.  I put mine up and waited for Richie to show and call the meeting to order.  Richie came in late, but no one else showed…it turned out nearly everyone was down at Johny’s watching the Cavs.  The rules state that as long as anyone shows, there has to be a vote.  We sat around for about an hour, then Richie called the meeting officially to order.  After waiting a couple of minutes and making some more calls, he  said  “Well, I guess we should get this over with.”  I dropped my vote in the box, then we waited some more.  As President, Richie can’t vote.  An hour later, still no Meister.  So Richie called it and I won 1-0.

Democracy, baby!  I called Sadie to tell her she was married to an elected official, then tore off in the F150 down to the bar to celebrate.  Most everyone had left after I got there; I guess they were all upset because the Cavs got knocked out of the playoffs again. Who cares?  Basketball’s for sissies anyway.  And for Socialists like Obama.  I can’t wait for the full Committee Meeting next month – now that I am wielding some power and have political capital to spend, its time to set some things straight first with the union, then with Obama.  Big changes are coming…you wait and see.   How’s that sound, Brad?  Maybe you can sext me.  Till then, Fred the Tuckpointer, Committee Man for the Tuckpointers Local 4012 signing off.

I was sipping coffee at Intelligentsia sexting with one of my female undergrad students when I came across Fred the Tuckpointer’s column. I became so enraged I ripped the elbow pads off my tweed jacket.

First of all Fred, President Clinton did not have sexual relations with that woman. He told us that.

Second, I can’t believe you’re still going on about the stain on the dress. Big deal. Who hasn’t left a stain on a dress? Or for you Republicans, suit pants?

Whoever President Obama appoints to the Supreme Court, I can assure you it will not be based on shrewd, tactical strategy. Obama is above all of that political maneuvering.

I think there’s only one choice for his next Supreme Court nominee: William Ayers. There’s a man with a good level head on his shoulders.

I’d be ok with John Elway too.

Obama is going to put the Supreme Court back into its rightful left-leaning place. I don’t want the government involved in any uterus, but I do want it to take away your guns. I say your guns, Fred, because I don’t have any. It freaks me out to have them around when I’ve been smoking… uh, just smoking, like regular cigarettes. To recap proper Government regulation: Uteruses (Uteri?), no; Guns, yes.

Next topic…

I recently came across one of Fred’s family photo albums.

I think I spelled this poorly in grammar school… No wait, kindergarten.

Fred, I have a request: For your next column, will you please show us who in that photo gallery you are related to? I’m assuming most of those folks are either relatives or neighbors.

Hey folks, Fred the Tuckpointer here from the outskirts of Free America.  I figure it was just a matter of time before B. Hussein Obama turned his dagger a little more into the American Dream.   His next  target?  The Supreme Court.

A little civics lesson for all the Liberals out there who read this blog (hint: Brad the College Socialist)…The Supreme Court’s job is to make sure all of the stupid laws that Congress passes fall in line with the Constitution.  Unless the President decides that he needs to step in – then he gets the final say.   Conservapedia’s got all the details if you need’em.   The President has to pick a justice that will follow the Constitution to the letter – all of it – otherwise the whole thing is compromised and the U.S. will be no more.

Normally this isn’t a big deal, but we’ve got a Socialist President now.   The Court is pretty conservative, with a couple of Liberal yahoos and that she-man Ginsberg.  With Paul Stevens retiring, Obama gets to put another Commie in there to make sure his will be done.  Sure, Stevens is retiring due to “old age” and “health concerns” but he was waiting for Bush to leave office.   A Trap, if you will.

So the big question is, what Liberal will Obama put on the court?  I’ve heard some rumors…none of them good:

• Ed Begley, Jr. Super-duper hippie.  Sadie says he was good on St. Elsewhere, whatever the hell that is.  All I know is that he likes electric cars, and would be ok with a Constitutional mandate for electric cars.  All I can say is you’ll take my F150 when you pry it out of my cold, dead fingers.
• Keith Olbermann. God, I hate this traitor.  When Bush was President, all this jerk-off did every night on PMSNBC (good one, Rush!) was talk about how much he sucked.  Uh, guess what o’ former baseball announcer?  I don’t think you’re going to do much better if you were elected President.  What a punk.  His “special comments” are just rip offs of Edward Murrow.  Who was a Communist.  ‘Cause Anne Coulter says so.
• Dennis “The Menance” Kucinich. I’m ashamed to admit this doofus is my Congressman.  Chalk it up to all of the Liberals living in the greater Cleveland area.  They seem to forget he caused the city to go bankrupt.  He’s be perfect for Obama’s court – he’s all about the French anyway.  Did you know he was for 9-11?
• John Elway. I’m only listing him here because he beat the Browns twice in the AFC Championship games back in ’85 and ’86.   Jerk.
• Monica Lewinsky, Bill Clinton’s mistress. I stole this one from Rush.  Leave it to Obama to dredge up the the most painful episode of one of the country’s darkest hours.  She could write a majority opinion on a dress, or cigars, or…you know.  This is where you should be laughing.

Awful, huh?  But I bet its not too far from the truth.  Regardless of who Obama picks, at least the good news is that the appointment is only for life, so eventually the Obama justice will croak and we’ll be able to get a  solid conservative back in there.   First, we need to get Obama out of office so he can’t make any more picks.  Sadie likes to remind me the election isn’t until 2012, so in the meanwhile, write letters to Justices Alito, Thomas, Roberts, Scaila, and Breyer to not retire or die.   So get to it.  Till next time, Fred the Tuckpointer signing off.

I was in my office the other day, reading any book by Salman Rushdie when I got a text from Fred the Tuckpointer. He was pleading with me to stay offline and not read any news that day. Of course I already had. Fred was hoping I would somehow miss the news of the RNC $2,000 Bondage Nightclub Scandal.

Sidenote: another advantage of being liberal? I don’t owe anything to social conservatives and could easily attend a bondage-themed nightclub. In fact I have. It was only to research for a book I was writing. But even if I did enjoy it, which I didn’t, that would be fine. I’m a liberal.

The funny thing about these sex scandals, is that they mostly happen to the party whose constituents are least able to tolerate it.

Earlier this week, Fred wrote about the “conservative gospel.” I thought I should list a few things that make for the perfect Liberal – starting with this first point about morals.

The Perfect Liberal

• Have morals, but doesn’t go overboard. If your favorite elected official turns out not to have any, don’t worry and don’t feel bad having voted for s/he. Remember, we don’t have to define ourselves in their personality. Plus if you’re liberal, you probably already have affairs, along with your morals.
• Never vote for the candidate that seems like just a regular person. Vote for someone smarter than conservatives, like yourself.
• Own a Mac.
• Recycle. Glance condescendingly at people that don’t. Though you probably live in a big city where there no conservatives to look down upon.
• Complain about people driving too much but go on long road trips yourself.
• If you’re liberal you probably hung out in Wicker Park way before all the yuppie conservatives moved in.
• Humvee = Bad.
• Hate Lincoln Park.
• Hate rampant consumerism, but shopt at The Gap/Urban Outfitters and secretly, Starbucks.
• Publicly hate Starbucks, prefer local coffee joint. If the word Grounds or Bean is in the title, all the better.
• Drink all night, do yoga all day.
• If you have a kid, you must have a B.O.B stroller

In general, the key to being a good Liberal is to simultaneously hate and love consumerism. Buy things, feel bad about it, recycle, buy again. Don’t go to church, you could end up in a militia. Also, buy an iPad.

Hey folks, Fred the Tuckpointer here trying to keep on a brave face.  Its been over a week since B. Hussein Obama’s Healthcare Nightmare was unleashed on the country, and I’ve been barricaded at the house waiting for the end.  Sadie’s been out a few times since, after she found her car keys that I hid, but she made it back every time.  I guess the government is biding its time before rounding us all up.  I also got a call from Richie, telling me that if I wasn’t back on the job by Monday he’d find someone else.  We’ve got bills to pay, so I swallowed what was left of my American pride and headed to work.

I half expected all of the guys to be crowing about their impending communist indoctrination, given they’re all union, but a few were grumbling about how they’re gonna have to buy health insurance now.  A lot of them are like me – independent contractors – and don’t see the need for it at all.   When I heard all of the opposition to Obamacare, I knew it was a prime TEACHING MOMENT.  And what better to teach, than Conservatism.  Richie doesn’t like me playing Rush or Glenn on the radio at work, but he can’t stop me from talking.  So I took the guys out for hotdogs and told them about the Gospel of Conservatism:

1.  Conservatism is Always Right. When you say you’re a Conservative, you are always right about everything.  Let that sink in for a minute.  So whenever you you have an opinion, its not just an opinion, it is the empirical truth.  And the beauty of arguments and debates is that when you are secure in Conservatism, knowing that you are right is all that you need.  Everyone else is simply wrong.  Case closed.  Isn’t that awesome?

2.  When you are a Conservative, it’s never your fault when things go bad. This is pretty cool, too.  Think of it this way – you’ll never have a regret about anything.   Now, this doesn’t mean that you can just ditch responsibility but the big stuff isn’t your fault.  High Gas Prices?  Bad Economy? 9-11?  Conservatism had nothing to do with it.  But you know who’s fault it really is – Liberals. Much like God has Satan, and the Browns have the Steelers, liberals are the villain and cause of every evil in the world.  Hitler was a Liberal, Stalin was  Liberal, that asshole at the DMV is a Liberal.

3. Liberals are Evil. Just wanted to make sure I got that point across.  Liberals would wipe their ass with our beloved Constitution if they could.  Rush says Liberals are worse than terrorists.  The Liberals control things like the Liberal Media, the Liberal Government, the Liberal Great Lakes Commission…because they always have to cheat and keep an honest man down.  If things aren’t going your way, its because of a Liberal somewhere.

4.  Ronald Reagan was the best President ever.  This is really important.  No other Presidents come close.  Well, maybe Washington, but Reagan was the greatest thing ever.  Everything that is good in your life is because of Ronald Reagan.  He was a no-nonsense Cowboy.  God Bless him!

5.  Keep the big picture in focus. Almost forgot this one – this is when you’re arguing with Liberals.  Conservatives shouldn’t be shy about the Big Picture.  So when we say “If we don’t invade Iraq” we don’t say “There’s a chance that Saddam Hussein will develop biological weapons and give them to terrorists”, we say “America and your family will be vaporized”.  People respond better to fear.  Don’t be afraid to use fear.

6.  American Terms = Conservatism.  Shit, almost missed this one too.  Conservatives use words like Freedom, Mother, Apple Pie, Victory, Fireworks, and Beer.  Liberals like words like surrender, I’m Sorry, granola, Communism, Socialism, Islam, and wine.  I don’t think I have to spell out for you who’s more American.

7.  The Free Market will fix everything. I haven’t read all of the Milton Freeman stuff, but it makes sense to me – let businesses do business, and it’ll all even out.  Plus, hard working Conservatives like me will get rich.  So turn the businesses loose, and let them do whatever they want – nothing bad will happen.  It’ll trickle down to us – then WE’LL be rich.

8. Might makes Right. I’m as peace loving as the next guy, but Conservatives know its a rough world, and ya gotta pound your stick and make a lot of noise to scare everyone out of a fight.  I know Teddy said to carry the stick and be quiet, but Rush is always calling for action, and he’s right.  For example: Rush says we need to bomb Iran.  Or let Israel attack Iran.  Right on!  We need to kick some serious ass to remind the world how great America is.  I can’t help fight…my back’s bad…but we need need to be strong and powerful and winners.  So there.

and finally…

9.  Trust in God, for He is Conservative. Always remember that God is a Conservative God.  All of Conservatism is based on the Bible, and no one’s gonna argue with that.   All those Liberal hippies bitching about human rights and the environment don’t realize that God’s going to fix it, as long as we have faith.   So don’t worry about those things.

After lunch, the guys took off.  They didn’t say much, but I think I made an impression.  I’ll see who’s up for opening day for the Tribe – we can start to lay our groundwork then for starting a Conservative Union.  I feel good about it…

Till then, Fred the Tuckpointer signing off.

Every time I’m doing something useful, like tending to the plants I keep in my closet, my conservalarm goes off. It’s this flashing blue light I keep on the desk in my library. It flashes usually when the police are driving by. But it also notifies me when ignorant wonks like Rush, Glenn or Fred the Tuckpointer start spitting their fearful screed at me.

My friend Fred seems all worked up that some good old entitlement has been served up an eco-friendly plate. I haven’t had health insurance for years, and it’s not because I’m poor, unemployed or a working college student who can’t afford health care. It’s because as a liberal, I’m exercising my right to not be held accountable for my actions. I just go to the emergency room when I get a cold. No more. Now I’m taking my absolutely 100% free healthcare and getting help for the headaches I get from reading Tolstoy over and over. I guess my friend Fred the Tuckpointer wouldn’t know much about healthcare, because he’s never needed a doctor. Except for that one time he read my bible, also known as the DaVinci Code, and got chest pains.

Which brings me to Rush. Mr. Limbaugh has a dilemma. He said he’d leave the country if healthcare passed. Then it was clarified that he simply meant he’d go to other countries for his healthcare. He mentioned Costa Rica as the place he’d visit. The problem is Costa Rica has universal (read: socialist) healthcare.

So I thought I might help Rush by providing a list of places that don’t have socialized healthcare, so he can feel good about his choice and avoid supporting a fascist, socialist, nazi country that takes care of its citizens, no matter how much weed they smoke.

Here’s a list of places, Rush, which do not have socialized, universal healthcare. Check ‘em out.

Somalia
• Cons: Islamic militants run amok, occasionally kidnap and behead westerners.
• Pros: They don’t have socialized healthcare.

Nigeria
• Cons: People kill each other with Machetes.
• Pros: They don’t have socialized healthcare.

Tajikistan
• Cons: Has socialized healthcare.
• Pros: socialized healthcare is offset by extremely high incidences of waterborne diseases, malaria and high infant mortality rate.

I’ll continue to research and add to this list. Gotta run now. I’m upgrading the RAM on my MacbookPro and getting my recalled Prius fixed. Ugh, consumerism.