I’m getting you this for your Birthday!  Enjoy!

It’s not quite a sleeping bag, but, I would still take one. Seriously. I’m picking one up for each of my nieces and nephews, and while they just might throw it in the corner, and not pay any attention to it now, in about 6-7 years, they are gonna pull the hand-sewn, zippered tauntaun WITH plushy frozen Luke, and look at me and say,

Uncle Stephe-o, you are the GREATEST!

Or not. Either way, this thing is WON-DER-FUL.

I mean the tauntaun has a ZIPPER!

And a PLUSHY Luke (who’s all blue and frozen and sicky looking!)

Still looking for things to get Sandy? Well, the T600 arm is already taken. And I already talked to him, he doesn’t want the Office Chair that tweets to Twitter every time you fart.

Thanks to Alex – we have a serious contender… The Boba Fett flash drive. Alex mentioned this in the email:

Totally up his alley.

Well… Thanks Alex. You can buy that shit here.

Anyone else? Email me.

OH – and presents are expected at the Rent Party. Friday night. Dinner @ 8PM. Show @ 9PM. Door – $10. Drink Specials – $2.50. Food – $0. 2020 N. Oakley – The Gallery Cabaret.

And he better not lie and tell me he’s not interested. This will allow him to punch through the jokes every Schadenfreude writing meeting and hold the punchline within his mighty metal grasp.

Question is… What are you guys getting him? Send me the best, and I’ll post ‘em!

Dignity is 0.2% off. Who says the slumping economy is a bad thing?

But I’ll take one of these.  It’s just so macabely-cute.

What’s this? You’ll have to click continue to find out. You know you’re curious. Come on… There’s cake.

Shortly after I appeared on Talkin Funny I was given a gift based on the game played in that episode. Callers were asked to find the bowl of Tasty Peas under one of three piles of Elephant Poo. If you’ve never seen Talkin’ Funny, and this description hasn’t made you realize you’re missing out, then you’re inhuman and should be hunted down with torches and pelted with rocks and garbage.

A little backstory on the episode: I had literally JUST drove into town from Christmas in Kentucky, so all the things brought up in the episode, the exchanging of the socks and decorative soaps are me employing Christmas gifts from my car. The Soaps were made by Schadenfreude.net reader Leanne, who also made me a fake can of a product called “Tasty Peas” with Sasha and the Noob’s faces on it. I can’t find my picture of it, so instead  here’s a picture of Mom’s dog with a Santa hat on.

So this year I was given a Sequel gift of Tasty Meat. Just wanted to give a shout-out to Leanne and Sasha and the Noob and show the incredible detail she went to, to put a 53rd Ward Helmet on a human face made of Spam.

If Noob could talk he would say “that’s some Tasty Meat.”

You all know you have one – a Star Wars Geek who unconsciously responds with quotes from the movies in the midst of a conversation. The kind of Geek who secretly and desperately wants his lady to put her hair in cinnamon rolls on either side of her head JUST ONCE in the relationship. The kind of geek that considers naming twins Luke and Leia – “just for the joke of it”.

Here’s the kind of gifts they would LOVE to find underneath the tree:

  

  

Thanks McMorran – keep stuff like this coming….

With the holidays right around the corner – it’s time to start thinking about the “Perfect Gift”. You know, the one that makes everyone go, “He went to Jared’s.” – Except we don’t go to Jared’s. And if I had any sway, I’d ask all of you to not go to Jared’s.

This is for the guy, or lesbian, in your life who just may be striking out lately. This retro Orgasmo Clock gently coaxes you from your slumber with the soothing sounds of a woman getting her rocks off. Not as good as the real thing, but beggars can’t be choosers. Well. I guess they can. But they better not be. They’re beggars.

Purchase info HERE.

You know – Black Friday – the day when all good souls wake up REALLY super early to be sure to get trampled in the Wal-Mart mess to grab a $99 DVD player that ends up breaking in the first 2 months and causes some serious family stress because now no one can watch “The Notebook”.

Well – Black Friday is right around the corner, so I’m gonna keep you updated with some of the deals out there so you can plan your non-sleeping accordingly.

Today’s deals come from Circuit City. I know I’m gonna be there at 3 AM – hope to see you there!

• Charlies Angels – Full Throttle – $2.99 : $2.99!?! This is McG’s best work to date, so be sure to grab one of these. Demi Moore? The other chicks that were in it? High-falutin’ action wrapped in leather – a MUST ADD to any collection.
• Enemy Gates – $2.99: Rachael Weisz from the Mummy fame before she got all esoteric. Here she is in some sniper battle in WWII – she’s no enemy at my gates for $2.99!
• Rules of Engagement – $2.99: Never was a political/war thriller so sexy! Your mom will totally “heart” Tommy Lee Jones. Make mom happy with this $2.99 gem!
• The Cat In The Hat – $2.99: And don’t forget about your lil’ sis! She loves that old storytime favorite with that Austin Powers twist!
• The Interpreter – $2.99: Grandma having trouble sleeping? Put this on! Definitely a “sleeper hit”!!

Stay tuned. More Black Friday info coming….