Category
Clean Joke of the Day
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02.05.08It’s a Matter of Perspective.
Stuck in a meeting where everyone hasn’t arrived? Live in a PC office (that’s Politcally Correct, not Personal Computer) - and have to be careful about the kind of jokes you tell? Well, here’s one that’s good in any environment!
Susie’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.
“You know” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, “you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. “And you know what?”
“What, dear?” she asked gently, smiling to herself.
“I think you’re bad luck.”You can thank me later.
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08.21.07It’s on Stone - it’s Eternal.
It’s been awhile, but just yesterday, I found myself in need of a clean joke. Having already used the other ones - I found it necessary to find another to add to the armory. Clean jokes are like ICBMs during the Cold War - you can say you have them, but it’s not until you need them that Cuba calls you out on it. Or something. Here’s today’s:
A man named William Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone: “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.”
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative.
He suggested the following;
“Here Lies a Man who was BOTH honest and a lawyer.”
That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark:
“That’s Strange!!”
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08.07.07It’s in the Name of National SecurityContinuing my series of “Clean Jokes You Can Tell When Waiting on Conference Calls Until the Person Who Organized the Call Decides to Show Up.”
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?”
“I’m calling to report my neighbor. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood.”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.
The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Adrian, did the FBI come?”
“Yep.”
“Did they chop your firewood?”
“Yep.”
“Great, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden plowed.”
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08.06.07Two Guys Walk Into a Bar…If you are anything like me, you get stuck on Conference Calls and Meetings in which you are waiting for someone or something to happen. It ALWAYS leads to uncomfortable silences.
That’s when a CLEAN joke can come into handy… So - for the sake of those of you being found in similar situations - I offer you “The Clean Joke of the Day”
It by no way assumes them to be good, just clean. Here’s today’s:
Q:Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
A: Fo’ Drizzzzllle.
Thanks Joe K.!
