Category
business
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05.09.08Billion Dollar Pad
Todd Voorhies would be jealous. Mukesh Ambani, one of the richest men in the world, has just completed the world’s first billion dollar home in India. This ridiculously absurd skyscraper has in-house car maintenance, 600 full-time staff, and a helipad. Now, this guy’s worth about 70 billion. He wants to build a place like this, cool. But Mr. Ambani, next time, maybe don’t build your billion dollar home so that it’s physical resting on rivers of piss and raw sewage flowing through your neighbors’ street-level shanty’s. 75% of India’s residents live well below the poverty level, and while he can certainly do whatever he likes with his own money, next time I might suggest giving a mere MILLION to provide Clif bars and Smart Water to nearby constituents for the NEXT FULL DECADE. Hell, get a corporate sponsor! How about a street-level floor with about 500 public toilets and free Jamba Juices for everyone? Come ON! Where’s the karma? Sidenote: this Coruscant-like monstrosity was designed by Perkins & Will in Chicago. Perkins and Will, according to their website, is committed to immersing their design teams into the clients’ culture, mission, values and vision to create striking, environmentally responsible, forward-looking buildings that enhance lives of communities.
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04.07.08Sadly, I am NOT Joking.
Are you bored? Are you lonely? Do you need some help picking out that next tattoo? Wish you could have some celebrity - any celebrity - come and assist in making that decision? Or maybe, just maybe, you’re looking for a really poorly put-together website that looks like it was done in Microsoft Word. Or, lastly, you are wondering what happened to Dennis Rodman after his movie, Simon Sez.
Well wonder no longer! In fact, for the right price, you can ask him all those questions, and get some time of unlimited photographs! Just check out his site, RentRodman.com - and tell ‘em Schad sent you. It won’t actually get you anything, but it would be nice for someone to tell him that.
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02.05.08This is Lenny.
Lenny works for the City of Chicago.
When he comes knocking, he introduces himself as “The City of Chicago.” Please let him in. He will sit down with your boss, and ask him some friendly questions. He will ask him what your company does. DO NOT use big words like, “Interactive Agency” or “Custom Software Developer.” DO use “We build websites.” Lenny understands the smaller words and concepts.
He will ask you if you applied for a “City of Chicago Business License.” DO NOT say things like, “Business license….?” or “I have one from the State of Illinois…” DO say things like, “We have filled out the paperwork, just waiting to send it in…”
He will then go on, and explain to you that you will get a ticket, and, with a smile on his face, tell you some bad jokes about his wife (You think this winter storm is bad, try coming home late to my wife. THAT’s a cold shoulder), print up a receipt - and tell you that you need to apply for a City of Chicago Business License so that you can continue to do business here. Because, “Hey, the Mayor needs his cut too, right?”
PS. That badge is from when he was a cop. He was a cop for 37 years. -
02.01.08Rent Our Office/Rehearsal Space, Loser!
We are trying to wife-beater approach to getting you to rent our office space. If we tell you that you suck, maybe you’ll do what we say? Is that how it works. Awful Schadenfreude, awful. We have an awesome rehearsal space in Ravenswood and we love it so much that we want to keep it. But we aren’t doing any big shows right now and the rent is high. So if you need a place to rehearse, write, practice, organize protests, be alone with your thoughts and/or masturbate (there’s a futon up there), then e-mail Kate at kate [at] schadenfreude [dot] net. But don’t masturbate. We’ll find out. Cheap rates, $15 an hour. Here are some pictures from Blewt.
