Sarah Palin Killed My Grandma
Or she would have, had my grandma been alive during the time that Sarah Palin was crossing the border into Canada to utilize the awful, socialist Canadian healthcare system that would just as soon kill my grandma – if she had been Canadian. Which is to say, if my grandma had been Canadian, and seeking [...]
The Crazies
I think by simply changing the name of the movie ‘The Crazies’ to ‘The Crazies and the Unnecessarily Fearful,’ it becomes a movie about the Tea Party.
I’m Going to Refinance, and I Don’t Know Why
I’m going to be honest, I hadn’t actually thought about taking advantage of ”Obama’s Refinance Plan.” But now I just might.
Warning: Your Life is About to Get Better
No more touching that stupid tube of toothpaste.
Warning: Not for use by Autistic people and others who may prefer tactile sensation.
Can I Write My Autobiography Now? … How About Now?
Now?
Just let me know. I really want to get on it. I’m not famous yet. Yet. But when I am, and that is inevitable, I will write my autobiography immediately. I will write the crap out of that thing.
In fact, I’m not going to wait. Scott Brown, newly elected and recently sworn in Senator from Massachusetts [...]
Warning: Your Life is About to Get Better
Thank God. I hate turning on the cold water faucet. The hot isn’t so bad, but the cool…
Poo on My Driveway
A passing dog walker dropped this bag of poo on my driveway, I’m choosing to believe, on accident. We do not own a dog. My question for dog owners out there is this – if you were to see a bag of dog poo that did not belong to you, is there any sort of [...]
I Thought a Live Performance Required People
The Who played at the Super Bowl. They sounded fine or great. Whichever. Considering all the keyboard/synth parts, which is a fair amount of their music, probably came from a MIDI track, the three live instruments (Guitar, Vocals, Drums… was there a bassist even there?) sounded fine. Roger Daltry sounded fine. He’s old. He’s not [...]
Saudis Hate Big Dick
The Saudi Arabian government doesn’t like this dude because his Pakistani name means “Biggest Dick” in Arabic. For real.
Dispute Arises Over World’s Best Fans
Drew Brees proudly proclaimed tonight that New Orlean’s fans are the “best fans in the world.” At first I believed him. Then I began doing a little research. As it turns out, this is in direct contradiction to what Steelers’ Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger said last January when Pittsburth defeated the Baltimore Ravens in the AFC [...]
Sure about that, New York Times?
Really, NYTimes? This is really the guy that a woman wants examining her breasts? This is the best you could find for your front page story?
Fox News Tries to Get Worse
Fox News is apparently concerned that the quality of their program offerings is not shitty enough, so they’re bringing on Sarah Palin as a contributor.
I suppose it’s also possible they’re trying to make Glenn Beck look less crazy. Seems like a lateral move to me, but I suppose in some circles…
Not Sure if it was the Sea Salt or the Vinegar
I don’t know if you’re thinking about eating an entire bag of these in one sitting, but I’d recommend not. My tongue hates me. I can only taste water.
Obama Ties Shoes; Conservatives Pissed!
There are several ways to debate issues.
1. You debate the issue. Is the Public Option socialist or not/will it get the job done or not. For example.
2. You debate how you debate the issue: Should we act like under-educated screaming lunatics at public forums, or should we behave with passion yet civility and focus on [...]
Sarah Palin Finally Reads A Book
Sarah Palin can finally say she’s read something. Her new book is due out November 17.
Matthew McConaughey Cannot Stand Up By Himself
All credit for this one goes to the Huffington Post and to the original blogger, My Brain is Made of Things of Gold.
Dinner Not Necessary
A Sarah Palin fan, Cathy Maples, won an auction to have dinner with the former Governor, paying $63,500. All proceeds are going to a charity to help wounded veterans.
This a great cause. Someone should tell Ms. Maples that she doesn’t have to sit through dinner with Sarah Palin. She could just give the money to the [...]
Flu Fear
This actually happened to me over the weekend.
I went to CVS to get a flu shot. I signed up at the computer, which informed me I was 9th in queue. While I was signing up, I was coughing a bit. I don’t have the flu – just a little cough. My son has croup. Croup [...]
Mr. President, Just Get the Flu Shot
Can we stop pretending that the President of the United States is just a regular guy? Can we just accept that the President is actually the President? Of the United States? Can we do that?
The President told CNN’s John King that the First Family will
“stand in line like everybody else” for the flu shot.
Obama Talks to Students
The hoopla over Obama talking to the nations’ students leads me to believe 3 things:
Conservatives are truly bored
We need to help them direct their energy towards something productive
This whole thing is probably being amped up by the media, but I’ll write about it anyway.
Joe Wilson Explains Outburst
South Carolina Republican Rep. Joe Wilson has apologized for his outburst at the President during last night’s address to a joint session of Congress. He said
“I was on the phone with my wife at the time. She said she hasn’t had an orgasm in 10 years. If I’m guilty of anything, it’s poor timing [...]