Ok Glee, Time To Face Facts

White Precious Xerxes

“Yeah, I called you fat/
Look at me, I’m skinny/
Never stopped me from getting busy/
I’m a freak…”
“Round and Round” by Digital Underground

Okay, Glee!, you had me at your first “bop,” but you are officially annoying me now. “This is how America looks,” was the pronouncement from the newest fat-ass New Directions member, Xerxes… or Zizes… or Isosceles. “This is how America looks.”

Not true. I’m skinny. Most of my family is skinny. Most of my friends and co-workers are skinny. Granted, I live in Los Angeles, so most of my friends and co-workers are vain, scrawny actor-folk. But still. America… all of America… does not look like the new fat chick on Glee! whom I like to call ‘White Precious.’

Baby Precious Mercedes

I love gay Kurt. One day I will even be so open-minded as to not refer to him as ‘gay Kurt.’ And I’ve accepted Mercedes (aka Baby Precious). And I accept the fact that she accepts herself and the fact that she believes she is beautiful in every single, fat, bacon-lovin’ way – thanks a lot, Christina Aguilera. I don’t agree that Baby Precious Mercedes is, in fact, beautiful, mostly because I fear that her arteries are fucking ugly. Mostly, I don’t think she’s healthy. Unhealthy leads to death. And what’s more un-beautiful than a dead teenager? But apparently the word “healthy” has taken on a new meaning in the African-American community. It means “fat” now. That is how we justify. That, and naming our children “Mercedes.”

I will not, N-O-T, not accept White Precious’ proclamation that “this” is how we look now and that we should all just “get over it.” That’s like people using “first annual” instead of “inaugural,” and expecting people to just accept it as right because it’s overused. Overuse does not make something correct. It’s like Webster’s adding “ginormous” to the list of accepted words in its 2007 dictionary. Ginormous. Hmph.  Okay it’s nothing like that. But she is ginormous.

Glee's Newest Cast Member - Ho-Chin-Precious So

I read a Glee! blog online the other day, that expressed dissatisfaction in the writers’ choice to show White Precious Xerxes Big Ass always eating. Her character shouldn’t be all about eating, they protested. Hello, that’s what fat people do. They fucking eat. That’s why they’re fat. You want an episode where she’s exercising? Not gonna happen, my friend. You want an episode where she’s contemplating not eating? Baby Precious Mercedes already did that. And Xylophone is twice as big as her. Of course, she’s gonna be eating. Next, you’re going to complain that a Kurt episode is all about him being… oh, never mind.