Hey folks, Fred the Tuckpointer here with…well…some scary news. I’ve been cooling my jets at home, after the tuckpointing gig closed up early at the Terminal Tower. Sadie’s not too happy with me buying Browns season tickets, but I’ve managed to secure some income for the time being. I went with Don down to the unemployment office to help him with his paperwork, and decided I’d be stupid to not fill some out for myself. Better me than some welfare mom, right? And I’m gonna pay it all back, too. Its just a loan. Don’t worry Glenn, I won’t become a “99er”. I’m looking for work right now.
So I heard about this Mosque being built on top of the remains of the World Trade Center, and how Hussein Obama is all for it. I get that the Constitution says that you can practice whatever religion you want, but this is different. The guys who wrote the Constitution didn’t know what Islam was. If they did, and they knew how crazy Muslim terrorists are, they would have written something like “All can worship freely unless you’re a Muslim, then you get lost.” Something like that.
Emotions are running raw, and it looks like there’s not a whole lot anyone can do about it…but my sources tell me there’s more to this “community center” than meets the eye. Check it out:
Friends, you may think its just a toy, but this “Terrordome” represents what is really hiding inside the Ground Zero Mosque. Less than 2 blocks away from where they’re building a new World Trade Center, is a building likely housing secret laser turrets and missile launchers, capable of hitting any GI Joe vehicles…I mean, New York Landmarks. And look at all of the places where Al Queida can be hiding. They’re probably gonna have some of those armored hang gliders with little machine guns too. I had one of these growing up, and it’s loaded. I’m pretty sure Obama, the secret Muslim, is funding and helping them build it. Location is the key.
Well, to quote Sarah Palin – “Don’t retreat, reload!” We gotta get ready for this upcoming terrorist onslaught. The dumb ass mayor of New York is ok with this, but as conservatives we gotta buy more guns and…shit, I don’t know. Get a bow like Rambo? The stormtroopers are coming at any time now, its just a matter of when. If Obama’s giving them advanced weapons like a H.I.S.S. tank, or even a F.A.N.G, regular guns aren’t going to cut it. Maybe its time for me and some other Tuckpointers to start a resistance group. This gave me some inspiration…for the singing, replace “Cobra” with “Obama”. (I’m totally Snake-Eyes, by the way).
Sheesh. In any case, if we conservatives keep up the pressure, we still can stop Obama and his Al Queida super Mosque. Spread the word – the more people we clue in, we’ll eventually win the battle. And Learning is Half the Battle. Wait, I did it wrong…
Till next time, Fred the Tuckpointer signing off…