Ummm, WHAT? Facebook: The Movie? Oh, sorry. The Social Network? WTF?

I’m a pretty entertainment-liberal kinda guy. I’ll watch just about anything. Transmorphers? Seen it. Gauda Prime Consipiracy? Yup. I even watched Sex and the City once it hit HBO. Honestly, I will sit down, at some point, and watch Twilight. Why? Mainly because I like to see how people try to entertain the masses. And, with each of those movies – there was something that people wanted to see. In some cases, each of those movies birthed a whole class of new die-hard fans, and I respect that. It’s their Star Wars. I mean, it’s no Star Wars, but is is THEIR Star Wars.

What I can’t respect is this.
This disgusts me. If for no other reason, then because of the insane banting around of useless, meaningless terms such as “Page Views” “Hits” and “Billion Dollars”. Are they really trying to make Zuckerberg cool? If so, is Jesse Eisenberg really the best choice? We all know he’s the poor man’s Michael Cera. Zombieland was good IN SPITE of Eisenberg. I think Christa put it best here.

And let’s face it – sometimes the mundane, or the boring CAN be made exciting, if only for kitsch value. Take the cult favorite Hackers. Angelina Jolie. Jonny Lee Miller and that dude from Scream. Great soundtrack, pure schtick the whole way through. For some reason, when they try to sell “28-8 Baud Modem” and “RISC Architecture” – you just laugh with the SINCERITY in which they deliver those lines. The fake excitement over the “new laptop” with “crazy graphics” is so much fun to watch:
But what isn’t fun? A pixelated version of Jesse Eisenberg’s face.

The only way this movie will work, in my oh-so-humble opinion, is that if it is treated with the same budget, the same style, and the same sincerity that both “The Late Shift” and “Pirates of Silicon Valley” used. Why? Because it wasn’t about the technology, or the show – it was about the people embroiled in the battle. Sure – both of those super cheesy, but for people who want to see a retelling of the story of what happened summed up in 90 minutes, it was great. Like Cliff Notes on great moments of pop-culture history.

This? A bad choice for Jesse Eisenberg.

The Social Network.
Closing this October in a theater near you.