Okay internet, that’s far enough

Okay, this might be  a minor entryway into a problem I’ve had for a while but I just heard that they finally announced the iPhone 4, which, much like The Empire Strikes Back is a sequel to the greatest thing ever invented. But when I looked it up to catch some blurbs about how the new device might make me more popular or interesting to people who don’t like me I found this video (which is not embedded because a) Mac vs. PC parodies are as funny as “Where’s The Beef” parodies were in 1996 and b) I’m not supporting Jane Lynch until she gives Kate James back the career Kate’s rightfully earned.

But my point is this – parodying the iphone 4 the day after it came out is a little too much. We’re moving a little too fast, internet. You see, I remember an internet where things took up to a week to get played out, but an irony-starved public started pushing the “over it” parameters back and back and back so they could be the first to hate something to the point where we will soon have to start hating on things weeks before they exist. I know we do this with movies already (I, for one, am pretty excited to hate the Karate Kid), but internet cultural events don’t have release schedules.

My frustration at this faster-than-the-speed-of-Like era hit a peak around March when I heard of Chatroulette for the first time. Much like being introduced to a Youtube phenomenon I’m unfamiliar with via a parody of the unknown entity, I found out about Chatroulette through a reference predicated on my knowledge of it’s existence. This is another internet pet peeve of mine, but I’m used to that now. I’ll just have to assume that the non-remixed, non-imitated, non-remade, non-autotuned version of the World’s Worst Wedding DJ is funny, not that I can find the original. So I look up Chatroulette and two of the first articles I find are dated three days apart, one introducing it to the world and the other saying how over it we should be.

I would finish this article but the whole thing seems very July 7th, 2010 at 9:43pm right now.