Review: Shrek Forever After/The Final Chapter/4/The one coming out this week

Full disclosure – I have not seen this movie. Everything I am about to write has been gleaned from watching the trailer(s) for this movie, and seeing the bus wrappers on my commute to work.

So, yet once again, we are taken to the land of Far Far Away, and Mike Meyers and Eddie Murphy are still living there. I think the rumor is, Shrek and Donkey hired a group of protesters and lobbyists to get Dreamworks to make a Shrek part 4 to make them relevant again. But I digress. From what I can gather, there’s a wish, a Rumplestilskin, and all his buddies are now his enemies. And Puss in Boots is fat (kind of like what happened to Val Kilmer).

Also, it’s in 3D. You know, like every movie. I think I just saw an ad for “Letters to Juliet” with Amanda Seyfried in 3D. Who’s Amanda Seyfried? Good question – I’ll let you know when I have an answer. So yeah. 3D. Because you can’t get enough flying Donkeys or fire breathing in your face to help punctuate the joke for an additional $11.

Ok, the venom is out. This movie has some real potential, as long as:

  • This really is “The Final Chapter”
  • They let me know what the title really is
  • Eddie Murphy promises to stop acting like Donkey in all of his other movies
  • Puss in Boots doesn’t do a “Rocky IV” and get skinny – UNLESS it’s a direct rip of “Rocky IV” with pulling wood in the snow, etc.
  • Donkey and the Dragon-lady still have Donkey/Dragon babies (C’mon, cross-species baby-making is funny, and even funnier when you show it to kids)
  • Someone closes the book at the end of this movie. And then Mike Meyers wakes up in real life and says, “Whoa – that was a strange dream!”
  • In the scene where they are making their battle plan – one of the ogres says, “What does the pepperoni represent?” and then Louis Gossett, Jr. says, “That pepperoni is a pepperoni. It’s my lunch.” and eats it. (Bonus points to anyone who gets THAT reference.)

Not a long list of demands – but I think they are quite simple to fulfill. And let’s hope that this isn’t like “Kung-Fu Panda” – that movie sucked.

Final Review: 3 DonkeyDragon babies breathing fire and speaking Ebonics waaaaaaay up!