I need (a) Q-tip!

Last week’s GLEE hurt my eyes and assaulted my ear drums violently. No, not this week’s. I’ll get to that one. I got kids. I have a real job. Give me a break. Shut up!

I am referring to last week’s Bad Reputation episode. There is no good reason to ever, ever, EVER bring back a Vanilla Ice song or Hammer pants. I remember the 70s fondly. The 80s, not so much. I was in college when both “Ice Ice Baby” and “U Can’t Touch This” came out. I was in high school when “Superfreak” came out, and if you’re too young to get the connection, screw you, young’un. Just because these songs are older than you, doesn’t mean they’re classics. Doesn’t mean they’re show choir-worthy. Doesn’t mean my eyeballs and earballs should be violated by them in 2010.

It’s like finding an old coin and running it, excitedly, to a numismatist. (Again, young’un, if you don’t know…) Just because the coin is old, doesn’t mean it’s rare. And it doesn’t meant that there aren’t 100,000 other equally old coins out there in circulation. So, am I saying I’m an old coin? NO! I’m saying that these songs were stupid then, they’re stupid now, and last week’s GLEE was stupid.

I don’t even care what the episode was about. Just promise me, GLEE, no more of these shenanigans. Please? Now, I’m going to go do an NWA saltwater eye rinse followed by some Public Enemy ear candling just to get the residue out that this episode left behind. And by “Q-tip,” I mean Q-Tip. See, young’un, I’m hip.