Fellow concertgoers, I need you to stop doing the following things immediately.

• Standing so close to me that I can taste your breath.
• Attempting to have a conversation with the performers between songs.
  

  Stop doing that

• Giving me the evil eye when we are all asked to sing by the performer and I actually sing.
• Asking me the name of every single song.
• Wearing those pants like that.
• Using Shazam to figure out the name to every song now that I’m ignoring you.
• Talking.
• Offering to massage my thigh even if it is totally cramping for standing for so long.
• Shouting the name of your favorite song even after it’s already been played.
• Making me regret that I like this band because I have to hang out with you for two hours.

Thank you and happy Earth Day.

This post was written by Jeff Ford
This entry was posted on Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 at 2:21 pm. It is filed under Observations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.