I was in my office the other day, reading any book by Salman Rushdie when I got a text from Fred the Tuckpointer. He was pleading with me to stay offline and not read any news that day. Of course I already had. Fred was hoping I would somehow miss the news of the RNC $2,000 Bondage Nightclub Scandal.
Sidenote: another advantage of being liberal? I don’t owe anything to social conservatives and could easily attend a bondage-themed nightclub. In fact I have. It was only to research for a book I was writing. But even if I did enjoy it, which I didn’t, that would be fine. I’m a liberal.
The funny thing about these sex scandals, is that they mostly happen to the party whose constituents are least able to tolerate it.
Earlier this week, Fred wrote about the “conservative gospel.” I thought I should list a few things that make for the perfect Liberal – starting with this first point about morals.
The Perfect Liberal
In general, the key to being a good Liberal is to simultaneously hate and love consumerism. Buy things, feel bad about it, recycle, buy again. Don’t go to church, you could end up in a militia. Also, buy an iPad.