We’re Not Saying You Do This Schadenfreude.net Reader, but…

The proper attire for a daring escape.

…clipping your fingernails in public is disgusting.  We shouldn’t even have to mention toenails.

…the only acceptable way to escape from a hospital is in one of those backless gowns.

…consistently quoting from Muppets in Space does not make you hip or retro.

…we’re really getting tired of those emails you send us in German.

…there’s no need to be all jealous just because one of our uncles is a Space Shuttle Pilot.