Hi folks, Fred the Tuckpointer here. Feel that chill in the wind? Notice Ol’ Glory hanging limp from the flagpost at Lakewood High? The unthinkable happened. The darkest day in American history… Obamacare passed. I didn’t bother going in to work yesterday – what’s the point? Sadie told me I was being crazy for locking up everything and hiding her keys, but she doesn’t get that Obama’s minions are waiting for us to head outside, where they can slap us into the boxcars and ship us off to the “health camps”…you know what I mean. I never got a hold of Dad’s .22, but I managed to find my old nunchakus under the bed, so at least I’ve got a fighting chance. Now comes the waiting…
It looks like Obama’s already got the media locked up…there was no mention anywhere on TV (even FOXNews!) of the mass takeover of our lives by the government. So I started hunting down things on the Internet – even my old reliable sites like the Drudge Report and Mark Levin appeared to be business as usual. Maybe Obama got to them too. That’s when I noticed someone responded to my last column.
So this Brad The Professor guy thinks it’s great Health Care “Reform” passed. The only thing that is going to be reformed is honest US citizens, Comrade. Which I’m sure suits you just fine. Tell me *one* thing a professor is good for. Go ahead, think for a minute….yeah, me neither. Sure, Brad’s a “teacher” but I prefer to think of him as a brainwasher. I know lots of guys that went to college. When they left Cleveland, they were honest hard working suburbanites…then they come back home for break, and suddenly they’re questioning capitalism, playing guitar and wearing sandals. Pathetic.
Here’s a history lesson for you, “Prof”: America has been, and always will be the best most perfect country in the world. The End. The only time bad things ever happen is when socialists like you and your Dear Leader somehow steal an election. Then we need a Ronald Reagan or Ulysses Grant to fix things back up. In other words, a Republican. But we need an ass kicker this time – McConnell is too old and Boehner is too worried about his tan. My money’s on Newt – he’s a little nasty bastard. Or maybe Tom Delay. And the Tea Partiers are vowing revenge. I could get into that! So keep an eye out, Brad. The patriots in this country often have violent reactions to tyranny – and we like to hit when you aren’t looking.
OK – Sadie is complaining that we need milk. The street looks clear – I’m going to go up to Giant Eagle and lay in some provisions. Rush will be on soon, hopefully. I’ll have a better idea of what to do after I get my directions from the Last Man Standing. In the meanwhile, fellow conservatives, keep your heads down.
Fred the Tuckpointer, American Patriot, signing off…for now.