Dear My Spleen,
I would first like to thank you for your 30+ years of service. You have been a fine spleen and I’m grateful to have you as a tenant in my body. However, I must admit that I have no idea what you do. You’re much like that guy at work who doesn’t seem to have any actual responsibilities but has a window office so you assume he’s important. Except your name is more fun to say. Spleen. Tom. Spleen. Tom. You see what I mean.
Anyway, I wanted to recognize your service to my body which has remained relatively healthy up to this 
point in my life. In fact, I’ve had no spleen-related issues and I thank you for that. I would like to maintain our healthy relationship because a splenectomy sounds painful. It is also much less fun to say than spleen. Please don’t consider that a threat.
Pardon my unprofessionalism, My Spleen, but I just checked Wikipedia. It tells me that you filter my red blood cells (with whom I am also on good terms, thanks to you it seems) and play an important role in fighting infection. I apologize for not checking earlier, though I am a little disturbed at how your Wikipedia entry is very horse-centric. I guess horses need spleens too. In fact, it’s just another indication of your importance to life across the globe. Well done, My Spleen, I have a new found respect for you and your kind.
My Spleen, keep up the good work and I’ll keep doing my best to make your job easy (is there a Wikipedia page for that?). Also, apologize to My Liver for me. It’s a hard time for him between St. Patrick’s Day, the NCAA Tournament and my crippling loneliness.
Your Host,
Jeff
