Just let me know. I really want to get on it. I’m not famous yet. Yet. But when I am, and that is inevitable, I will write my autobiography immediately. I will write the crap out of that thing.
In fact, I’m not going to wait. Scott Brown, newly elected and recently sworn in Senator from Massachusetts that replaced Ted Kennedy, has announced he’ll be writing and releasing his autobiography.
You know what? Brown’s a punk.
I can’t believe it’s going to take him that long to get his autobiography written. Written! He’s been a Senator already for less than two weeks and he’s JUST NOW announcing he’s ONLY GOING TO START writing it? By the time I get famous, whether that’s from being on Survivor, or getting elected to state legislature, or by moving back to the city and becoming an Alderman or for opening a bread shop that serves excellent coffee and pastries (populist pastries, don’t worry. What? You think I’ll serve that French nonsense?) by the Montrose Brown Line stop, I will already have my autobiography written. All I will have to do is release it. That’s how it’s done, Brown.
In fact, I might just go ahead and pen my memoir while I’m at it. There’s a slight difference – my memoir will be written by me, but my autobiography, contrary to the use of the auto- prefix, will be written by someone else. I’ll tell them everything they need to know.
Brown, you better get to the writing, my friend.