LOST Predictions – Let’s Start ‘em Up!
It’s the Final Season, and, there are currently 3,256 different loose ends that need to be tied up. Or else people are gonna be pissed. Like ALIAS pissed (anyone watch that? seriously? that’s how he chose to end it?). I mean, this is gonna rival Seinfeld proportions. Facebook is even asking me if I’m gonna watch the Season Premiere. That means it’s big.
So – here are the important things that need to happen either tonight, or within the first 8 episodes of the Season. And I mean NEED to happen.
- Juliet and Kate will have a lingering kiss before Juliet dies to go do V
- Kate and Sun will have a longer kiss before Jack looks all pouty
- Kate and the Smoke Monster will try to kiss, but then a polar bear will “interrupt the moment”
- Penny and Kate will have an “across the time” kiss, before Penny disappears in the time vortex to go do Flash Forward
- Flocke and Locke will get together to conspire how they can get in on the NEXT JJ Abrams show
- The numbers will never be mentioned again because the writers/creators are unsure exactly WHAT to do with that whole McGuffin.
- Kate will find out the Claire’s baby is really Jacob, and Jacob’s Enemy is Jacob from a different timeline
- Jack realizes that there is no such thing as free will, and there is no such thing as a career after LOST
- Boone shows up in 3 flashbacks because we miss him
- Desmond appears to die twice, only to come back each time with the realization that he IS Jacob
- Kate from 1977 meets Kate from 2001 – and they kiss (sweeps week)
- Sawyer goes shirtless for 34 out of every 42 minutes each episode for the rest of the season
- Hurley makes 5 “geek” references (ie. Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings)
- The psychic guy – can’t remember his name – does whatever anybody on that show tells him to do because he’s grateful he has a career
- Fisher Stevens is happy to be relevant again
- Kate looks pouty towards the end of the season because there are no more women to kiss, and she’s tired of the “men in her life” – leading her to time travel back to when Ana Lucia and Libby were alive. *ahem*
Anyone else?
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on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 10:28 am by Stephen Schmidt and is filed under Pop Culture, TV and tagged with ABC, Dancing with the Stars, Flocke, jack, Jin, kate, Locke, Predictions, Sawyer, Smoke Monster, Sun.
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It’s the Final Season, and, there are currently 3,256 different loose ends that need to be tied up. Or else people are gonna be pissed. Like ALIAS pissed (anyone watch that? seriously? that’s how he chose to end it?). I mean, this is gonna rival Seinfeld proportions. Facebook is even asking me if I’m gonna watch the Season Premiere. That means it’s big.
1) Ewoks. Just like The Empire, the Man-In-Black didn’t count on Ewoks coming to our heroes’ aid.
Ben is his own father…and son
2) Frank will be fired from Ajira airlines, allowing Sawyer to kill Frank without going against his own programming.
3) Kate will destroy her toy airplane in the fires of the statue where it was originally forged.
4) Jack will realize (too late) that Hurley = Darth Söze
5) Faraday and Widmore switch bodies for one day and realize that it isn’t easy being Faraday or Widmore, thus gaining new found respect for each other
6) Desmond finds the Statue of Liberty at the other end of the island – realizing he was on Earth all along.
7) We discover that “The Island” exists only in a miniature snow globe on Aaron’s bedroom shelf.
9) Walt and Sayid will reluctantly yet hilariously share an apartment on the Upper East Side, despite the fact that one of them is rascally slob and the other is a neat-freak!
10) Kate will declare “Michael is not our friend, he is not what he appears to be” before ripping off his “human” skin to reveal reptilian skin underneath.
11) Locke will go back to school to finish that one class he needs to finally earn his college degree. But oh no! He only has 6 hours before the big test (he hasn’t studied at all!) and that lousy Dean is ready to kick him off the diving team!!
Another Lost mystery: Why did my “8″ turn into an emoticon suddenly? Damn those numbers…
Funny – you don’t mention anyone “kissing”
I think you also forgot:
Or do they enter a diner, feast on onion rings and listen to Journey as man in a Members Only jacket comes out of the bathroom to-
Why doesn’t the fat guy ever get skinny? Aren’t they all supposed to be starving or something?
Don’t Stop Believin’ Joel – I think you win.
Was going to suggest that Hawkeye accidentally kills a squaking chicken/baby as they are all being sent home, but that is only because I dont watch Lost.
I would have watched it if James Gandolfini was in it. And Little Steven.
The entire island swirls down a drain as Patrick Duffy turns off his shower.