LOST Predictions – Let’s Start ’em Up!

It’s the Final Season, and, there are currently 3,256 different loose ends that need to be tied up. Or else people are gonna be pissed. Like ALIAS pissed (anyone watch that? seriously? that’s how he chose to end it?). I mean, this is gonna rival Seinfeld proportions. Facebook is even asking me if I’m gonna watch the Season Premiere. That means it’s big.

So – here are the important things that need to happen either tonight, or within the first 8 episodes of the Season. And I mean NEED to happen.

  1. Juliet and Kate will have a lingering kiss before Juliet dies to go do V
  2. Kate and Sun will have a longer kiss before Jack looks all pouty
  3. Kate and the Smoke Monster will try to kiss, but then a polar bear will “interrupt the moment”
  4. Penny and Kate will have an “across the time” kiss, before Penny disappears in the time vortex to go do Flash Forward
  5. Flocke and Locke will get together to conspire how they can get in on the NEXT JJ Abrams show
  6. The numbers will never be mentioned again because the writers/creators are unsure exactly WHAT to do with that whole McGuffin.
  7. Kate will find out the Claire’s baby is really Jacob, and Jacob’s Enemy is Jacob from a different timeline
  8. Jack realizes that there is no such thing as free will, and there is no such thing as a career after LOST
  9. Boone shows up in 3 flashbacks because we miss him
  10. Desmond appears to die twice, only to come back each time with the realization that he IS Jacob
  11. Kate from 1977 meets Kate from 2001 – and they kiss (sweeps week)
  12. Sawyer goes shirtless for 34 out of every 42 minutes each episode for the rest of the season
  13. Hurley makes 5 “geek” references (ie. Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings)
  14. The psychic guy – can’t remember his name – does whatever anybody on that show tells him to do because he’s grateful he has a career
  15. Fisher Stevens is happy to be relevant again
  16. Kate looks pouty towards the end of the season because there are no more women to kiss, and she’s tired of the “men in her life” – leading her to time travel back to when Ana Lucia and Libby were alive. *ahem*

Anyone else?