Hot or Not? (Let’s Get Down to Brass Tacks Edition)

I have nothing witty or pithy to say about this, other than I don’t find her hot. Not in the least. Of all the starlets, of all the women that have graced the silver screen, this is one that has never, not even for a moment, entered into one of my fantasies. Sure, I’m not afraid to admit it to the 17 people that actually read the “Hot or Not?” posts – I do have fantasies that include women. Sue me. I’m a healthy (as healthy as a diabetic can be) male in his mid-30s with a wife that spends 9 months of the year in Delaware. It’s natural.

But that’s not what we’re here to debate. Since her explosion onscreen as a hooker in “Pretty Woman” – America has just been in love with this woman. And I. Don’t. Get. It. Call me crazy, I dare you to try and convince me otherwise, but she just looks… bony. She’s wafer-thin – and not in a good way. Honestly, I though she was going through chemotherapy the last time I saw her – which was during the Help for Haiti telethon. Did you see her there? For all that is holy, don’t be afraid to get a little dressed up. I know it’s all sad, but it’s not like YOU are there picking up the pieces of the ravaged land – you’re just answering phones and making pleas. We like you when you at least try. It was like she disrespected me as the Average Joe. She’s a movie star, so… Act like one. Don’t act like me, I can get by waking up in the morning and heading off to work by just brushing my teeth – you can’t.

So… Yeah. Not hot. But, I’ll let you tell me, do you disagree?

Julia Roberts - Hot or Not?

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