Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Macgyver.

Hello everyone. I don’t know if we’ve met. My name is Macgyver. Yes, that’s right– I take everyday objects and use them to solve seemingly impossible problems. What’s that? You thought my name was Molly? Well, you may be partially right, but I’ll bet you didn’t know about my ability to use items from the bodega to recover a tragically lost wallet.

It all started on Saturday night. I was sitting on my brother’s roof, socializing with some friendly comedians and friends. Little did I know, I was sitting on some sort of old chimney of some sort– because I realized my wallet was gone, and then realized I was sitting on a ledge that had a hole in it about the size of a beer can, and of completely unknown depth. All I knew about the depth of this hole was– it was deep. DAMN deep.

So, tonight, I decided to ignore the naysayers– those who said, “Molly, that mystery hole could be 3 stories deep, you’ll never get your wallet back.” Here were my ingredients:
1) Fly paper
2) Duct tape
3) Giant ball of twine
4) Tall boy can of Budweiser

With the help of my assistant/John’s roommate Elliot, I taped the fly paper to the tall boy can and taped the tall boy can to the ball of twine. Then, my friends, I went fishing.

Urban fishing.

I am standing on the roof of a 3 story apartment in Bushwick (with, by the way, an incredible view of the Manhattan skyline as the sun set) throwing this beer can into this 20 foot deep chimney hole and fishing out whatever sticks to it– coincidentally, the first thing I caught was an empty tall boy can of Budweiser.

Then second thing I caught was MY INSURANCE CARD and a 5 dollar bill!

The THIRD thing I caught was my DRIVERS LICENSE!

All in all, I recovered a metrocard, a bank card, and 2 more dollars. It wasn’t everything that was in the wallet, but it was almost all the important things (and all the cash!). I am a very happy girl right now.

Elliot is really the only person who can attest to how thrilling this was, and it might not translate well into a facebook note, but my body is surging with adrenaline right now and I needed to share my story with the world.

Love,
Macgyver

blog