Obama Talks to Students

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The hoopla over Obama talking to the nations’ students leads me to believe 3 things:

  1. Conservatives are truly bored
  2. We need to help them direct their energy towards something productive
  3. This whole thing is probably being amped up by the media, but I’ll write about it anyway.

Here’s a list of actual problems that we could use Conservatives’ help in solving:

  1. Global Warming – by 2050 China will have more cars on its roads than the entire world does today.
  2. Our lopsided economy – defaulting banks, people losing jobs while Wall Streeters take home huge bonuses (that we paid for).
  3. The Elmo Theme Song – is constantly stuck in my head. Need something less catchy.
  4. My backyard butts up against railroad tracks. It’s loud sometimes.
  5. We need to stabilize and get out of Afghanistan.
  6. My wife and I need to slowly wean ourselves off of our iPhones and have a conversation again.
  7. Parking at Soldier Field is $45 for U2. That’s almost as much as my ticket.
  8. My health insurance premium is 2.5 times more than it was 8 years ago. My salary is not.
  9. We desperately need Matt Damon to make another Bourne movie so we can have a decent action flick.
  10. And finally, my two-year-old keeps taking my car keys and hiding them, making it hard to get to work.*

*This last one may not be an actual problem.

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