More like this?

MorelikethisNetflixNetflix I think you paid too much for the machine that crunches why someone likes a movie. Apparently there’s three criteria: Actors, Directors, and inherent love of period melodrama. The next time someone tells you they loved a movie, instantly insist that they would also like Age Of Innocence.

Also: Upon further review, Batman Returns might be the stupidest movie ever made. But, of course, the Spawn caveat applies – this doesn’t mean I don’t love it.