2-Second Movie Review: ROBOT HOLOCAUST

robot holocaust vhs front2A few of us got an urgent email from Stephen this past weekend demanding that we go to Comcast On Demand and watch Robot Holocaust.


And what do I have to say, but THANK YOU! This delightfully awful movie is such a gloriously blatant rip of all of my favorite movies (highlights include Escape from New York, Mad Max, Alien, Star Wars, Conan the Barbarian, and even a dash of The Black Hole). And boy does this movie SUCK BUTT.

But you know what? Who cares. Of course it sucks. It’s called Robot Holocaust and it’s 79 minutes long and it’s from 1986 and there are maybe 100 lines in the entire movie. Everyone in the movie MAYBE got Taft-Hartlied to be in SAG from this Mr. Holland’s Piece of Crap. It opens with a 10-minute lightly-choreographed fight sequence clearly shot in a textile factory in the Garment District on a Sunday at 11. Make no mistake, I will be watching this movie again. Connor, this is so incredibly ready for a Neo staging that you won’t have to write any jokes or make any clever references for the stage directions. Maybe we could stunt the festival by just screening the movie and having us watch it and actually enjoy it.

Well, now it’s not much of a stunt because now the cat’s out of the bag. Wait, we’ll do it in 2010. ¬†Book the flight now.

NOTE: Wait! The main guy’s name is “Neo.” I think that the Matrix guys based it all on this. Robot Holocaust could be the Ramone’s of sci-fi and we don’t even know it.