Facebook Etiquette: Episode #34

facebookAttention: Women Users of Facebook- if you have changed your name since High School – or even college – you are not allowed to get pissed at me if I didn’t “friend” you.

In fact – do people still take offense if you haven’t “friended” them? Actually – let me answer that, they do. One female friend of mine not only got married, but changed her FIRST name. She had a completely new name – NOTHING similar to what I knew her as in high school. She must have found me through someone else’s network or something because, along with the friend request came a personal note saying,

Well well well, look who else is on FB! What’s the matter? You too good in Chicago to remember us little people? What have you been up to??? I still can’t believe I’ve been on FB longer than you, and you NEVER asked me to be your friend.

Now, sure, there may be a little sarcasm embedded in there. In fact, one of the items I’ve submitted to the HTML standards and Facebook is for a <sarcasm> tag – in which you could wrap your text in the tag, and it would blink, and drip and do all the things sarcasm does in real life when done poorly just to communicate to the other person you are being sarcastic. You know, for the kids.

Anyway – if there was sarcasm, great, I’m your “friend” now (even though you rejected me – TWICE – in high school, I’m not one to hold grudges. I just write scathing posts about you on my website that ranks just about 1,616,000th on the web according to QuantCast.com – that’s above pinkpewter.com – so I’ll take it.) But I’ll SHARE this post on FB, and then everyone will see it – and you’ll know who you are… Unless it’s lost in the stream of 47 people you call digital friends.

(Also – I have no idea who this woman is in the pic – if you Google “Facebook” this is the second image to show up. She must be SUPER popular to show up ahead of the freakin’ logo…)