Now that I own a part of GM

drawing-shamish_lgI have a few requests.

  • No more blue cars. Or green cars – they look stupid, and don’t want ‘em
  • Put Sirius in every car. Howard Stern is still awesome entertainment
  • I want to be treated like an owner each time I walk into the dealership. I want a cup of coffee, and I want them to know me by name, but call me Mr. Schmidt
  • Get rid of OnStar – it’s overpriced GPS and handsfree calling. No one needs to talk on the phone while driving – and I can get you a GPS for $30 if you get lost
  • Owner’s Meetings should be held at Perry’s Deli on Orleans. Maybe once a month or so
  • Every car should have a “Turbo” button. Doesn’t necessarily need to work, just give it to me
  • Every car should have a spoiler.
  • Every car should have tinted windows
  • Every car should have a remote starter
  • Every car should have one long bench seat in the back for better making out in the back seat

And who at GM is going to tell me I don’t know anything about car design – I say, “Oh Really? It looks like you don’t either. And you’re fired!”

One Response to “Now that I own a part of GM”

  1. Adam Witt says:

    When I bought my car from Schadenfriend Barb Pritchard, she was telling me all the ins and outs of the fabulous 1996 Ford Escort Wagon (another reason my GM family should disown me). We’re driving and Barb says “and it comes with Turbo Boost.” “Really?” I reply. At that moment she reached down and hit the “Max AC” button, turning off the air conditioning, and the car did actually jolt forward.

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