Breaking News: Archie to marry Veronica!

artarchiearchiecomicsOh right. I’m pretty sure no one who is visiting this site gives a shit, including me.

Honestly, what surprised me most when this came across the CNN.com homepage was not that Archie was getting married, it was that

  1. People still gave a shit what happens
  2. They still published this comic

Seriously – the target audience must be in their 60s now, and people are still buying this?? That alone should be the news story. I can’t imagine that ANY plot line from this comic has ANY semblance to ANYTHING. Of course, you could say the same about most comic books, but c’mon – are they still publishing Richie Rich? Or Casper?

Wait. They are. HOW????

Ok, more importantly, which would you choose, Betty or Veronica? From what I remember, and can gather from the hard-hitting reporting given out by CNN – Betty is the “girl next door” who would do your laundry, cook you dinner, like to spend a nice evening out once in awhile, be completely supportive and MIGHT even let you trya forbidden sex act on your anniversary. Veronica, on the other hand, is super-rich, is bitchy, wants to eat out at all the trendy restaurants, would let you videotape sex in the Caymans, however, your penis has no real power in the relationship – it’s her’s, and she will do with it what she wants.

You choose:

Which would you choose?

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