Look, We Can Have Adam OR Barack. We Can’t Have Both.


adam-lambertThe world is stunned today that Adam Lambert, the critic’s darling, didn’t get crowned the new American Idol. Really? Are we really shocked? That the gay, guy-linered, black nail polished rocker didn’t win? This is conservative America taking the reigns back after our nation spun out of control and elected a black man (gasp!) to the highest office in the land. Middle America took one look at Adam’s snake-skin nut huggers and said, “Not again! Not on our watch! You can take our Presidency, but NOT our American Idol!” So, our American Idol is a bit more McCain than Obama. If this is how it shakes out, I’ll take Barack in the White House. It’s not like we have to endure Kris Allen’s domestic policies for the next four years… Unless you count acoustic guitar rock as a domestic policy — well, then you do.