Are you a fan of Lost and Star Wars?

gw327h202Hey – at this point, if you aren’t watching the show, then you suck, and you need to be watching it. One of the greatest sub-sub-sub plots of the show (completely inconsequential to ANYTHING going on) is Hurley looking to re-write Empire Strikes Back.

His logic? It’s 1977, and Lucas is going to be looking to make the sequel to Star Wars, and he wants to make sure that we don’t have the lame Ewoks.

Thank you JJ Abrams, and whichever of the writers you hired that wrote that line.

In the episode, Hurley is carrying around a notebook, which, it turns out, is the new manuscript. The LOSTwiki has done all of us fans a solid – and published the pages from the manuscript. You get genius re-writes like the following:

Luke sits up in a recovery-room bed, he’s messed up from putting a hurt on the Gundark, but is smiling.

HAN: “Farmboy, that’s two you owe me.”

Han turns as Leia enters the room. He looks at her with a really really big grin.

HAN: “Well your Worshipstress, looks like you managed to keep me around this wasteland for a little while longer.

LEIA: I don’t know where you get your delusions. I only ever liked you because your ship is awesome.

Chewie laughs in his own cool animal way.

HAN: Laugh it up, fuzz ball. You should have seen me and freckles in the south passage. She told me she totally wants to kiss you.

Luke looks over at Leia. She looks at Luke. Then she looks at Han. Then back at Luke.

LEIA: My…! Why, you little stuck up,…half-brained,…funny-looking…

HAN (looking at Luke): Who’s funny looking?

With that she leans over and DOES NOT KISS Luke on the lips. Then she high-fives Chewy, leaving everyone in the room slightly dumbstruck.

Just go read the whole thing.