Flu! Oh Noes! (and Other Lazy Reporting)

cnn-flu Must have been a terribly boring day for CNN yesterday.

There’s the phrase, “blood from a stone” or perhaps, “beating a dead horse” or my favorite, “fear-mongering to those that live by the headlines.” For 3-4 weeks, the news had this awesome pandemic story about the end of the world, and how people had to keep distances, and wear masks, and work from home, and cancel Peapod deliveries and be reclusive hobbits in order to stay alive in the wake of this super-swine-avian-donkey-starfish flu.

And then it ended and subsided.

And then Nancy Pelosi did some weird shit to stir things up. But that didn’t last long.

And then they hoped the pirates would make a comeback. But they didn’t.

Yesterday, while watching CNBC, I saw the headline: “Breaking News: Waiting for President Obama to speak about new fuel efficiency mandates.” THAT is “Breaking News”? WAITING is “Breaking News”?!

Why are news agencies so lazy? What happened to investigative journalism? It seems as though everyone just does stories that are handed to them. Whatever. Anyway, for those of you who DON’T know – the super-pig-jurassic-sheep flu WILL kill you – this fall.