A Sad Day for Gay People

s-joe-the-plumm-largeJoe the Plumber has declared it. And though their cries could be heard across America and their tears sadly flowed, it does not change the new reality in which gay people now live.

Joe Wurzelbacher better known as Joe the Plumber from the 2008 presidential campaign, has declared that he does not want any gay people near his children.

This news is doubly antagonizing for gay people, as not only will many of them have to cancel their summer trip to Ohio to visit the Wurzelbachers, but an entire generation of future gay people will never get to experience the joys of hanging out with the Wurzelbachers, eating hot dog salad, pouring back cans of Coors Light, playing with remote control cars in the driveway.

“We’ve been going to Ohio every summer for years,” said Roland Perry of Chicago’s Boys’ Town neighborhood. “We’ve never actually met the Wurzelbachers – you know you don’t just go straight to their house and meet them your first time out. We spent two summers going to Toledo, staying at the Holiday Inn Express just outside of town, just trying to meet people who knew them, trying to just get a little closer each time. We thought this summer might finally bring about the big meeting. My partner and I are really disappointed.”

Lucas, also a Boys Town resident, who chose not to use his last name because he’d already told all of his friends at Berlin that he’d actually met the Wurzelbachers, lamented the lost opportunity. “I’ve never actually been to Holland, Ohio – or Toledo for that matter. I’ve actually never even left Chicago, except once to get a futon and lamp from Ikea. But I really wanted to go meet Joe and his kids. I lied to my friends and told them I’d already gone out there and had met them. But now I’ll always wish I’d really gone. So sad to have something you care about so much, just ripped from your hands.

A sad day for gay people indeed.