Breaking News: Archie to marry Veronica!
Oh right. I’m pretty sure no one who is visiting this site gives a shit, including me.
Honestly, what surprised me most when this came across the CNN.com homepage was not that Archie was getting married, it was that
People still gave a shit what happens
They still published this comic
Seriously – the target audience must [...]
What’s It Gonna Be Like This Weekend?
I don’t know. However, if you need a new site to get your weather from, I recommend, HIGHLY – this one.
Loads fast, can check on phone without all the waiting, loading BS.
Perfect app that does one thing, and one thing very well.
LIVE!
Hot or Not? (Wonkette Edition)
So here we have famed internet star, Ms. Wonkette herself, Ana Marie Cox. I was a huge Wonkette reader back in the day, and love following her on Twitter. If possible, I would love to have it written down in the passages of history regarding the Inter’tubes that Ana Marie was one of [...]
Total Eclipse of the Heart: Literal Video Version
I could watch these for hours. This song is the best one I’ve seen so far. Such a simple yet brilliant idea. Mullet with headlights?!
Justin – I found a nice little place you can take the family this summer…
Oh yeah, tell ‘em Da Coach sent ‘ya! Send a postcard!
I also signed you up for the following activities:
How to swear eloquently
How to eat steak
How to hate the Rollerdome, and everyone from Minnesota
How to wear sweater vests – all season long
How to like things a lot, and suggest others to “really like it to”
Bay – you better be joking.
This can’t be a real, pivotal character in Transformers 2, or else, I will cry – and my anger will burn with the intensity of a 1000 suns. “Ejector”. A GD toaster?!
To say I’m excited for Transformers 2 is an understatement. I love, and will henceforth go on record as saying so, that I [...]
Thanks Facebook
I am really excited about being back in contact with absolutely every single person I’ve ever met in my life. Thanks Facebook. I was really wondering how this guy from my high school was doing, and now I know:
And now, I bring to you, a mostly-unedited series of Facebook messages with douchebag. Enjoy:
A Special Schad Shout-Out
To our good friends, Frances and Angela who are now Celebrity enough to be on “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!” They are the last minute additions! Woo! Let’s go Franglea! In your honor – we post the original, “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!”…
My Childhood is Our Future: Tauntaun Plushy Toy
It’s not quite a sleeping bag, but, I would still take one. Seriously. I’m picking one up for each of my nieces and nephews, and while they just might throw it in the corner, and not pay any attention to it now, in about 6-7 years, they are gonna pull the hand-sewn, zippered [...]
Hot or Not? (SciFi Mojo Edition)
Summer Glau has been a staple in SciFi shows for years. First picked up by a personal SciFi writer, Joss Whedon for an episode of Angel (still miss that show), then turning up on Serenity as some sort of catatonic super-killing babe dressed in tattered clothing. (Turns out, she does that REALLY well). [...]
Attention Schadenfreude.net Reader: Testicles.
That is all.
2-Second Movie Review: SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE
We get it — being poor sucks and other countries have versions of American game shows. But you know what? This movie is pretty hot. You’re definitely rooting for the main guy and you want him to win in the end. I really did wonder for a while if he was gonna make it, and [...]
In response to the topic of bathroom attendants
With all this talk of bathroom attendants, I present a picture I took during my brief stint working the Fair Circuit in the summer of 2006.
Paper towel?
Granulated soap? Freshen up your urinal cake? Tips optional?
Commercials I Love (slightly NSFW)
Don’t know where this is airing, but if there was a “Facebook Like” or a “Twitter Star” function, I would absolutely give it. Money having sex is fun. Is paper money characters having sex NSFW? Is it visuals or SFX? Hmmmm….
This was delicious.
Check this out. This is a delicious brown egg cooking in butter in a really nice skillet. I fried this particular baby up a while back. It was so GD good, I drew this picture of it from memory afterwards. I’m sure I made the yolk too big here but a big, delicious yolk is [...]
The case against Sonia Sotomayor
Barack Obama has nominated Sonia Sotomayor to replace David Souter on The Supreme Court. Conservative action groups have stated that, aside from graduating Summa cum laude from Princeton, graduating second in her class at Yale, and previously being nominated by George H. W. Bush, she’s completely unqualified. But what are the other arguments that Republicans [...]
Hot or Not? (Hall of Fame Edition)
I’m just gonna post this pic, ask you if you have ever seen anything that wraps up hot in a little black dress better than this?
After you think about it for a moment, you can go ahead, tell me no, and then go ahead and vote “Hot” below. Should I even include a “Not” [...]
Kate, time to brush off that headshot, the phone is ringing, and it’s Fate.
Casting for “Real Housewives of Chicago”** is starting.
Except I think you need a bitchier attitude and at least two kids to ignore. But it still doesn’t hurt to give it a shot. This info from SunTimes:
According to Towers’ (Productions) casting director Becky Cattie, the hope is to find women who could give this [...]
Possibly the Best Movie of the Summer: Transforminators.
I know Sandy and Adam are in. Who else? Should I just go ahead and get tickets?
Cartoon Lies #23
Noodle on this:
If you are in a barn, and a fiddle starts playing, you must participate in the square dance.
Addendum: You must participate in every call of the square dance, no matter how self-destructive.
Addendum 2: You will be tarred and feathered by the end of it.
Addendum 3: Lead fiddle will be played by [...]
PSA: Keep Your Condiments Fresh
In this season of BBQs, you should know what the half-life of many of the most popular (and even some unpopular) condiments are. Go ahead and print this up, stick it on the fridge, email to your grandma, fax to your brother-in-law – but let’s spread the news, ok guys?
And most importantly, let’s all [...]