Flu Needs New Marketing


Flu is unpleasant for sure, and yes it sometimes kills people. But I think one of the biggest problems concerning the flu is the inappropriate response to it. People seem to go one of two ways on this. They either freak out, buy duct tape and stay inside the house for a week, or they do what I do – which is not pay any attention at all, and in my case if someone sneezes I simply, politely say “swine flu? Stop touching me please.”



I don’t think either of these reactions is responsible. I think the flu has an image problem. As for the people that have been freaking out over the past week, I would be pissed off if I were the regular old flu. I’d be like, “bitch, I killed 36,000 people in the US last year and you’re freaking out over 150 people in Mexico?’ The regular flu kills more people every year than Mexican drug dealers. On the other end of the spectrum, there are people like me. I just can’t be concerned with an illness called the swine flu. It’s just doesn’t sound like something to worry about. And the bird flu was even worse. And by worse I mean less scary. Bird flu. Bird flu? Really? Bird flu. That doesn’t prompt me to take any action at all, except to change the channel from CNN to a Seinfeld rerun, or worse, Frasier. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to go hug a Mexican right now – and I might, in normal times – but I’m also not going to run from one either.

If you want to get our attention, how about a more threatening name – like Lung Collapser. “Oh – you have Lung Collapser? I’m surprised there’s any oxygen left in your body at all.” Or maybe “The Inside-all-over-body-destroyer.” Try ignoring that. What if you heard Anderson Cooper say “150 people reportedly have died of throat-collapsing, lung-drowning hot-poop shooter syndrome in Mexico city…” You’d put down your cocktail long enough to think about that.