Memo to Runners:

no-runningI don’t care.

Let me be more specific. I am talking directly to my co-workers. Hey – I’m all excited for you. I think it’s wonderful that you have taken it upon yourselves to run mass distances and try to beat imaginary times. I have respect for people that train for hours on end to become really good at running. To be the best running person you can be. Even better if it’s a first time thing, and you’re getting psyched for that first race that you know you can’t win, and your only stated goal is that you “finish” it. And that there’s this thing called “Personal Records” – PR for the initiated – and that you go out and compare your PR with someone else’s PR and then another PR of some guy from Botswana and then that dude who was right in front of you for the first 11 miles, and then at 12.2 you just overtook him and beat his PR and your PR and then there was a PR party.

I get it. I just don’t want to have to hear 30 minutes of talk about it. 30 minutes of how you pushed through. Of how you massaged your leg afterwards. How you wore the new shoes. How the socks are good. How you wore too much or not enough pants.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate your dedication to your health. Heck, this may be out of jealousy. But don’t make me listen. Please. This is akin to hearing about someone’s grandmother. I’m sure she’s a dear, but she ain’t my grandma.

Ack. Maybe I’m so grumpy because it’s Tuesday.