I can solve this Swine Flu pretty easily…

11003998_tmbI saw Outbreak. Pretty good movie with a pretty hot Rene Russo. If the CDC and the WHO paid any attention to Hollywood – you would find that this is waaaaay easier than everyone is making it out to be.

Allow me to explain.

The way I understand it, the US Government was doing some testing on biological weapons that ended up wiping out a small Mexican village – one where pig farming was an industry. The weapon wiped out the human population, however, pigs have snouts, so they were unaffected.

THEN – some hapless farmer stumbled upon the pigs, and needing a quick score to get his daughter out of hock (sp?) – sold the pigs to a Californian looking to invest in pork bellies, but not really understanding the whole process. He smuggled them through customs through a friend from college that owed him a favor for stealing his lady (they now live in despair, and the girl regrets every day the decision she made all those years ago…). On his way to the farm, he got bit by the pig. That pig was then given to a farmer to raise, while the investment banker got sick.

Let’s just find the investment banker, realize the strain has gone airborne, locate the wild pig, draw it’s blood and save Rene Russo before Dustin Hoffman dies and Carl Weathers Cuba Gooding, Jr. is left to make friends with General Freeman!

C’mon people – get the lead out.