A few things I learned from watching ANTM:

tyraYes, I watch ANTM. Can we just get over that part? Besides, LOST was useless last night. The slow-talking “I’m gonna explain it all guy” over clips from previous episodes. Just give me Faraday’s story – ok? Faraday is the new Desmond (ie. the only character remotely interesting).

Oh – and last week on LOST – they reached legendary status. Hurley making an “Empire Strikes Back” reference, and admitting that the Ewoks were lame. Thank you.

Right. Back to ANTM. The three things I learned:

  1. There REALLY IS a “Girl from Impanema”. It’s not just a song, but it’s really about a girl. And I guess she’s aged OK, but she was quite the looker back in the day. And song is about the weird walk the girl does. And it’s the kind of walk that makes it look like she’s either having mini-seizures OR she’s tripping on some California Sunshine. Regardless – didn’t know that, and now I do. So now I have that useless information.
  2. The people who determine the marketing budget for “Obsessed” (the Ali Larter/Beyonce Knowles vehicle) really believe that ANTM is their target audience. I think I saw a commercial for that movie during each break. I get it. I’ll go. And if I don’t go, I promise I’ll buy it on DVD when it comes out. And if I don’t buy it, I promise to get it on Netflix. And if I don’t get it on Netflix, I promise to at least talk to someone about it. We cool? When does that bitch open so I don’t need to see another trailer for 2009’s “Disclosure”?
  3. Makeup and Photoshop can make any girl hot.

So. Do with that info what you will.