*&#$**%&^&*@# Broncos

Bears Cutler FootballBeing a football-loving ten-year resident of Chicago that grew up in Denver, recent events have confused and irritated me.  When I was 8, I started playing little league football just outside of Denver. My uncle Wayne said to me “If you’re going to play football, you’re going to be a Notre Dame fan, and a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.” But then Denver got John Elway and I fell in love with the Broncos. Uncle Wayne left my aunt after that, so he’s a dick anyway.

Also, I am one of those annoying people from Colorado, which is everyone from Colorado, that can’t stop talking about how great the weather is, and how there’s so much sunshine, and how no matter how much snow we get, it’s going to be 70 degrees with blue skies in two days, yada yada. I also still refer to events in Colorado as affecting ‘we.’

So this Jay Cutler situation has really f—ed me up.   I was a Denver fan when they routinely went to Super Bowls so that other teams could break Super Bowl records. I was a fan when Dan Reeves’ best trick play was to act like he was going for it on fourth down only to have Elway punt it. When time expired and they finally won the super bowl in 1998, I simultaneously clocked my friends on both sides of me with closed fists out of pure excitement – one of them receiving my crushing blow to their broken ankle, already in an air-cast. Then all 10 or so friends in the room picked me up and carried me around the living room on their shoulders, as if I had just personally won the game. No bit. That’s true. THAT’s how much of a Denver fan I am.  So for Denver fans, this has been a long ten years. The arrival of Jay Cutler was heralded as a new age. I’m no expert, but I think Cutler is awesome. His record in Denver, at 17-20, doesn’t demonstrate that, but he is. I’m not going to talk about why he’s awesome here. Just trust me. He is.  Kyle Orton on the other hand, was 21-12 as a Bears starter, 15-2 at home. And I think his beard has actually chopped wood itself.  But Denver screwed themselves. Cutler is one of the best QBs in the league and now he’s gone. Unfortunately, Chicago gets a quarterback that, I’m certain, it will have no idea what to do with.

So you see my dilemma. I have nothing against the Bears, but I’m a Denver fan first and foremost. It should be awesome to watch Lovie Smith slowly, slowly, discover that Cutler is NOT a linebacker.

When is a team no longer your team? Do you hang around after the quarterback retires? How about the star running back? Receivers? The entire defense? I was hanging on to head coach Mike Shanahan when he got axed over the summer. Who’s left for me? Head Trainer Steve “The Greek” Antonopulos?  If I remain a Denver fan, I either cling to Orton’s beard, or their new head coach – this guy: http://www.denverpost.com/portlet/article/html/imageDisplay.jsp?contentItemRelationshipId=2380146

Golf is suddenly starting to seem really interesting.