New Glasses and a Question for the Masses.

iah_new_glassesI have to get new glasses now. I’ve been trying to postpone this because, for the most part, I like my glasses. Two things have changed.

    • My prescription.

    Apparently, every 2 years, you should have your eyes checked or some BS that they make up so that Optometrists can feel important. If I had to do it all over again, I’d go into Optometry. All you need to know is eyes. And how to puff air in them. They don’t do any of the work, they are just a more expensive version of a carnival ride operator. A or B? 1 or 2? 2 or 3? Read the bottom line. Then they just write down what the equipment tells them. Piece. of. Cake. And for that expensive carnival ride? $200. Or something. I don’t even know.

    • My current glasses broke.

    It’s one of those situations in which I REALLY wish I had a camera crew following me around – because it was so ridiculous. I was at the Des Plaines Oasis, stopping for a cup of coffee, went to take my glasses off, and the little plastic nubbies that keep the metal from scratching up my nose stuck to my nose. I didn’t realize it, felt something weird, and when I touched my nose, the clear plastic bits fell off onto the granite colored, dirty Oasis floor. I spent 10 minutes trying to locate them, then wash them, then, gingerly, placing them back into the sockets so that my nose doesn’t look like Mickey Rourke’s from The Wrestler everytime I put on/take off my glasses.

So now I need to spend a bazillion dollars so that I can see what’s going on in the world around me. So here’s the issue:

I hate bright sunlight. I’m the jackass that’s always squinting, loves working in the dark, etc. I want to try the Transisitions lenses – but don’t know anything about them except for the super-futuristic commercial that shows the EXACT behavior I want. When it’s bright, go dark. When it’s dark, go transparent. Does it know when I’m watching a movie that I’m not looking at the sun, and that it shouldn’t go dark? Does it know how fast I want it to go from one to the other? Are they tinted all the time, even when I’m indoors? Does it work EXACTLY like they promise, or is it just a bunch of whooey?

All that is mostly because I hate having 2 different pairs of glasses. Then I always need to be switching, or carrying around the bulk of another case – it’s just a serious pain in the ass.

Anyone? Any insight? Let me know. And I’ll let you know when I get my new Acid Red D&G glasses.